Love is Life

I miss Him too

2012-02-05T12:14:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago when I was getting Seth to bed he said something that stopped me in my tracks and caused a moment of pause. Now, a little back story . . . sometimes (many times) this child acts like a wild animal. He can destroy a room in 10 seconds all the while screaming and yelling. On this particular night he was adamant that he didn't want to go to bed, so we had been dealing with the fight of brushing teeth, changing clothes, praying, singing, etc etc. All I wanted was for that boy to be quiet and asleep and then he said, "I miss Jesus. He talked to me a long long time ago when I was in Heaven."

(Insert jaw drop and stab of motherly guilt)

I responded, "I miss Him too."

This life is hard. There are times that I feel almost homesick, longing for something that I can't quite place. And I think that's what it is; I miss Jesus. I know he's here and with me always, but how amazing it must have been (and will be) to be in His presence, to really BE with Him. I look forward to that day and in the mean time count my blessings for all that life has to teach me so I CAN be with Him again.

Out of the mouth of babes.

Big Man on Campus

2012-01-21T21:09:00.000-08:00

How did this happen!?! I made a video of Luke from birth until now . . . while pouring over all those pictures I just can't get over how big he is, how much he's changed and just how much I love him and I am so full of gratitude. This little boy is amazing. He teaches me every day to embrace curiosity and search for answers. He asks questions from every single angle about a given suject so that he really understands by the time he's finished asking (which can be days or weeks!) He has a very tender heart and he is very in tune with us and how we are feeling. Whenever we are down (which has been too much lately!) or feeling sick he makes us things or just sits by us and gives us hugs and kisses. He is very social and loves to play with other children. He gets so excited when his cousins get to come over and play! He is quite the leader and can become very chagrined when other children don't follow all his rules, but he's learning to recognize his emotions and is starting to talk about other ways he can deal with that frustration. We love this sweet boy. I still don't know how 5 years has passed so quickly, but I'm grateful for the 5 years he's been mine!

He has a new found interest in undersea/submarines and really wanted his party to be all about that. After 3 years of birthdays based around the movie Cars, it was fun to have a change!

Gaining Independence

2012-01-11T19:49:00.000-08:00

If you had to categorize my boys most people would probably define them as 'momma's boys.' This means they require a lot of individual/personal/constant attention. It is not uncommon to hear one of them say, 'momma!' while clinging to my legs and then raise their hands up for me to hold them . . . they are 3 and 5! I don't really know how this happened. I feel like I'm a pretty no nonsense mom, but apperantly not. I think for the past while we haven't had much of a routine or our own space for that matter. Things have been kind of crazy, and maybe they are clinging to me out of nervousness or anxiety. Either way, this momma needs a little space! It's high time these boys learn a little independence and my hope is that they will gain more confidence and be more happy over all in the end.
The first thing I've done is create easy access snacks in the pantry and fridge. I went to the dollar store and bought several easy open/clear containers and put all of their favorite snacks in them. They have loved being able to do this on their own. And, I think they are eating better than usual because I've put out healthier snacks that I don't mind them munching on throughout the day.
I also created a daily activities chart. They have a really tough time with transitions and hesitate when something gets 'sprung' on them without fair warning. I've been wanting to make a chart like this for a while (like over a year!) and finally got the motivation to do it. One day down and it's going pretty well. Luke especially has been excited about it and loved helping plan out the next day.
Here's to more independence!

Update on sleep - S is doing great now, sleeping nearly 12 hours straight . . . and L has suddenly developed a huge fear of spiders. So much that he was awake from 2-4am last night and has slept on our floor the past several nights. He is currently asleep in his own bed with a desk lamp on the floor next to him . . . hopefully tonight will be better than last night!

Preschool

2012-01-09T20:21:00.000-08:00

L went to his first day of 'big' preschool on Thursday. In October I drove by a church that had a sign for their preschool and I decided to go in and see how it was. It seemed like a good facility, the teachers were very nice, and the price was right. They said he could start right away, but he was so anxious about it (and honestly I was too) that I didn't. For the past several months though he has really seemed like he needs something more. With the stresses in our life right now, I can't do as much as I normally would (or hope I would), and he needs his own 'thing' right now. After lots of thought and even prayer I decided to go ahead and sign him up. He was not happy about it when I first told him, but I let him pick out a new outfit and he was excited about decorating his bucket (instead of back-pack), and promised him a treat if he did well when I dropped him off. He did awesome! He seemed happy when I picked him up and has told me that his favorite part was playing on the play ground. He told me he felt kind of shy and I told him that's ok, I still get shy too. He's growing up so fast and in just a few months he'll be a big kindergartener!

Love that cheesy smile.

Sleep

2012-01-08T11:50:00.000-08:00

Sleep is a constant issue with our family. It always seems like just when we get everyone sleeping well something happens and we have to start all over again. We recently put the boys in the same room and they were doing awesome for a while, but the past few weeks (because of staying up late for holidays and visitors) they've been waking up before 6am and then spend the rest of the day tired. And most parents know that tired kids results in more whining, crying, fighting, disobedience, etc etc. Last night I made a make-shift bed for Luke in the office and had him sleep in there. At 7:15 this morning I heard the first noises of children rousing. A whole hour and half later than I've become used too. My first thought was Hallelujah! So far the day has gone so much better than it has for a while. They are happy, content, sweet. I am grateful for this balance right now and pray it lasts!

Christmas

2012-01-07T22:21:00.000-08:00

Our Christmas was spent at home this year. Although we live with my parents and my brother and his wife right now, they didn't get up as early as us, so we had a quiet morning with the boys. It was so fun to see their excitement with it all. They were so happy! David's parents came to visit for the week before Christmas and we had a great time just visiting with them. We have a lot to be grateful for and this Christmas was a good chance to reflect on what we do have.

Our Trial: Part One

2011-12-15T15:19:00.000-08:00

Our lives have been full of blessings and ease. We come from good, loving families centered on the Gospel. I had never really felt like I had been tried or tested to the edge of my limits. We'd gone through difficult times and struggles but nothing I would define as a huge 'trial.'

This time last year, D was closing in on the end of his Master's program at TAMU. He'd started applying to a few jobs here and there knowing that finding work in the Public sector can take some time and hoping that by graduation in May he would land a job. In Feb/March I started to have several very strange feelings/promptings. I just felt like something hard was coming for our family. My initial thoughts were that someone was going to get sick or hurt and I almost drove myself crazy with paranoia. I said a lot of prayers to ease my mind and had the very distinct impression that yes, something hard was going to happen, but it was not going to involve the health of my family. I am grateful now for those impressions and the preparation it gave me for the journey upon which our family was about to embark.

At the end of March, D applied for a job with a the CS police department. He passed the testing process and out of 200 applicants was one of 8 asked to interview (they would only be hiring 6-7). He felt uneasy when he first began the application process, but I encouraged him to apply and continue anyway . . . he had a fever of 103 on the day of the test as well, which maybe was a sign. When he was asked to interview they never set a firm date and the end of April started to approach. We had one week to decide if we should extend our lease and wait around to see about the job or if we should just pack up and move in with my parents in AZ. At this point this was the only job he'd even heard back from out of nearly 50 applications, so we didn't want to be foolish to turn down our only chance. We were so conflicted and didn't know what to do. It got to the point where every time I thought about him taking the job in CS I would become sick to my stomach and feel very anxious and overwhelmed. I called my mom one night to talk with her and get some advice. We were feeling like he should turn down the job, but didn't know if it was wise to give up the only chance he'd had so far. After hanging up the phone I cried possibly the hardest I've cried in my adult life. Huge sobs of doubt, confusion, and frustration. The next day David called the recruiter and told her he wouldn't be going to interview and we proceeded with plans to move in with my parents. We felt a huge weight lifted and we felt very good about our decision, certain that there was a reason we needed to be in AZ. That was 7 months ago.

Cat in the Hat

2011-12-07T19:46:00.000-08:00

I'm way behind on blogging, but we'll get caught up eventually! I've had this year's Halloween planned out for quite some time. When the boys run around, wrestle and play they remind me a lot of Thing 1 and Thing 2 from The Cat in the Hat, so I wanted to do a family theme based on that. It was obvious that Daddy be the Cat and since I'm the voice of reason in this family :) I got to be the fish. They boys thought is was pretty fun to have blue hair and I had them grow their hair out for about 2 months just for this!

Soap Explosion

2011-10-24T22:02:00.000-07:00

I found a fun kid activity on Pintrest and decided to give it a try. The boys LOVED it. They spent nearly an hour and a half playing with it.

All you need is a bar of Ivory soap, toilet paper and water

Put the soap in the microwave for 1 minute

The boys thought it was fun to see it explode! Scrape off the fluffy part and put any remaining lumps back in the microwave. We used 3 bars.

Add water and pieces of toilet paper until you get the consistency and amount you want. We used about 1 1/2 gallons of water and 3/4 of a roll of toilet paper.

Play! They drove their cars and tractors in it. They pretended that there were tsunamis and hurricanes (L's a little too fascinated with those :)

I knew they were finished when S started washing the windows with it.

This activity was a little more work to clean up than I'd prefer and it's similar in consistency and texture to shaving cream, so I'm probably just do that in the future, but they had a blast!

Who Am I To Judge Another?

2011-10-08T22:38:00.000-07:00

I had a very big a-ha moment in the middle of the night. A big one. Sometimes I just can't sleep. I usually just lay awake and let my mind wander. My sister just got back from Disneyland so that made me think of the day this summer we went to Disneyland with the boys. I relived each moment and thought about all the little details. It was wonderful . . . until I got to the one melt down of the day. And it wasn't a melt down from the boys . . . it was mine.

We got to the park the minute it opened at 8am. Even though the boys were a bit sleep deprived they were fantastic. The lines were long that day. We waited an average of 40 min - 1 hour for every ride and yet the boys never complained. They were just happy to be there. In the evening after dinner we were trying to decide what to do next and Luke had asked all day to ride on the tram that goes around the whole park. We thought it would be quick because it's not actually a ride so we got in line. We waited . . . and waited . . . and moved up slowly in line and waited. I started to ask Luke if he needed to use the bathroom and he told me over and over that he didn't need to go. As we got closer to our turn (after about 40 minutes) I asked him one final time if he needed to go and he reassured me that he didn't. Finally we were next in line. The tram was going to be there in minutes and L frantically announced that he needed to use the bathroom. Jumping up and down saying he can't wait at all . . . commence melt down.

The tram took about 20 minutes to go and come back, so we'd have to wait another 25-30 minutes if we missed it. I picked him up harshly and walked quickly with him to the nearest bathroom. The whole way scolding him for waiting so long and pouting about the wasted time in line since we would now miss the tram. I continued to pout for several more minutes and let him know it was all his fault he wouldn't be able to ride the tram which he wanted to do in the first place. (I very quickly felt so guilty that I spent the rest of the evening apologizing and that single event has soured the memory of such a great day)

Now, rewind to a few weeks before our Disneyland trip. The boys were taking swimming lessons at the high school pool. The parents would sit on the sides while the kids attended class. After 2 weeks I had spent a lot of time sitting next to the same people and found myself judging the way they treated their children. On one particular day I watched as a mother pulled her son by the hand to the bathroom and scolded him for having to leave class to use the bathroom when she had told him to go before. The boy was only 4 and I thought she was harsh and unkind in dealing with him. I remember telling my mom that this poor little boy can't control it as well as an adult and it's not fair for his mother to treat him so unkindly about something he has little control over.

Back in my room in the middle of the night these two memories came to my mind and the very distinct thought . . . Who am I to judge another?

Thank goodness for repentance and the chance to learn from our mistakes. I'm very sorry that my sweet little boy had to be a part of my learning lesson, but hopefully I'll be a better mother because of it. We're all in this thing called life together . . . so let's give each other the benefit of the doubt.

Discovering Pintrest

2011-10-06T21:10:00.000-07:00

Serious lack of posts, no excuses, life marches on!

My sister recently introduced me to the world of pintrest and I'm loving it. Beware though, you can easily get sucked in, worse than facebook and blogging. I was on the search for order and organization and came across a project that looked like just what I needed. It didn't seem too difficult and between my mom and myself we had all the materials needed, so I decided to give it a try. The blog I found it on made it seem very easy and quick . . . it was neither, but it turned out great and I'm glad I made it!

Begin by taping two large pieces of cardboard together. We happened to have several huge boxes from the water barrels my parents just bought, but you could piece together a few smaller boxes.

Cut out pocket pieces. I found that Costco cereal boxes were perfect. I got 2 pockets from each box. Cut slits in the base. Cover the cardboard using an adhesive spray and slide pieces into the base.

This space looked very cluttered and disorganized.

Now it looks awesome and orderly!

Here's to more order and organization in my life (since I have control of little else right now)!

Trials and Tribulations

2011-08-18T21:06:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged much for the past several months. I just haven't felt it. Life has been . . . different lately. We're kind of in limbo land right now. We're at a time where we fully expected things to be completely different than they are and we're learning and growing and adjusting as we come to accept our reality. Our family is good, our marriage is good, our kids are good . . . but our situation is far from anything we would have picked. Yet, I'm starting to see how some of the pieces might be fitting together.

David graduated with a master's degree in May and we anticipated that he'd have the job of his dreams or at least a decent job by now. The reality is that he's applied to over 100 positions, he's been rejected from about 5 and has had no response from all the others. Back in May he was one of 9 out of nearly 200 applicants asked to come to interview for a position in College Station and as much as it seemed like an awesome chance and we would have loved to stay there we felt really bad about it. It just wasn't right. Sometimes we wonder now why. Why?

We're living with my family for now and we are so, so grateful for them and for their help at this time. We can't imagine what it would be like to have to face something like this without the support of family.

More to come on what we're learning and what blessings we've come to recognize . . .also the bedbug fiasco!

I'm grateful for this:

Disneyland!

2011-07-28T21:29:00.000-07:00

A few months before David graduated we mentioned to Luke that as soon as daddy got a job we'd go on a vacation to Disney land. L was so excited and had so many questions about how we'd get there, and what kinds of things you can do there. We explained to him that it could take a while because we needed to save up lots of money before we could go. So, he became quite an entrepreneur and gathered and saved as much money as he possibly could. He actually earned about $50 between doing chores, finding coins just about everywhere, and getting handouts because he's cute from grandparents. We had been planning to go to David's sister's wedding up at Lake Tahoe, CA and to get there we'd have to drive through San Bernardino (about 45 min from Anaheim). David's parents asked if we were planning to go to Disneyland since it would be so close and we told them we'd love too, but since David doesn't have a job yet we didn't feel like we could justify spending the money for it. They called us back a little while later and told us that they would like to pay for 1 day at Disney land . . . we were shocked and while part of us felt like it was just too much to accept, we just couldn't say no!

Since we would only be there for one day we planned and mapped out our day very precisely. We decided beforehand everything we wanted to ride and do and charted a little course to follow. The day was perfect! We got there at 8am right when the gates opened and the boys were able to meet several of their favorite characters right away (Donald is their favorite). We went on several rides the first hour and then the lines got fairly long, but at the end of the day we had done everything we had planned and a couple of things twice. We stayed for the fireworks at night and left the park at 10:30pm. If we could only be there for one day we wanted to make the most of it! The boys were amazing and had the time of their lives! If you ask them their favorite things they'll say, 'meeting Donald, the Dumbo ride, Autopia, and eating popcorn.'

We can't wait to save up and go for a week!

Swimming Lessons

2011-07-10T21:37:00.000-07:00

A little over 2 weeks ago the boys liked to swim, but were very timid in the water. Luke especially was very scared to put his head under the water . . . to the point that he told me he never wanted to be baptized and washing his hair at bath time has always been a chore. So, when they were getting ready to start swim lessons we promised them each a new toy car if they did what the teacher asked and had a good attitude. They both did amazingly! Luke is just about an independent swimmer and completely comfortable putting his head under the water. Seth thinks he can swim (which is a little scary) and loves to jump off the side of the pool. He kicks his arms and legs really well too! We're so proud of these boys.

Seth does not like having to put on 'sum-scweam'

Saying goodbye

2011-06-13T20:52:00.000-07:00

We sure miss TX and all our friends there (though we love being with family here). Saying goodbye was not easy! I never actually cried but that's because I made the departures as quick as possible . . . scratch that, I never cried in front of anyone, but I had a good hard cry by myself. We will always have fond memories of CS!

I'm sad all these pictures are all so low quality, but oh well!

The six amigos! We will miss all these guys so much!

Love all these girls like sisters!

I am so grateful for internet and that it is so easy to keep in touch!
Goodbye CS, and hello to new adventures!

On Why I 'Stay Home'

2011-05-23T22:05:00.000-07:00

There's a lot of arguing out there about 'which' life is harder and who has the better side of the deal. I don't know which is better, harder, best for the family, etc etc, and that's not what this post is about. I know that everyone's life and family is different. Everyone has different needs and abilities and I don't judge any one for how they do things with their family. This is about how I came to choose to stay home with my children.

For as long as I can remember I always just assumed that I would stay home with my children because that's what my mom did and that's what her mom did. Then I got married young, and one month after I graduated from college our son, Luke was born. Suddenly we were down one income (albeit a part time/student income) and my life went from busy with school, work, and adult interaction to the life of a stay at home mom. Which is busy, so much work, and rewarding, but different. I missed interacting with friends and co-workers and I no longer had the constant affirmations that all my hard work was being noticed.

Anyway, when Luke was about 4 months old I started to feel like I really should provide some financial support for our family because it didn't seem fair to me that it had to be entirely up to David, who was a full time student at the time. I started looking around for work and applied to a child care center as a lead teacher. I was hoping that Luke could be in the same class with me and when they told me he couldn't I just wasn't ready to be away from him. I decided I'd give it a little time and started working on odd projects at home like refinishing furniture to make a little extra income.

Several months later after David graduated and was unable to find work I felt like maybe I should look for work again and went out for some interviews. I was offered a lead preschool teaching position with benefits. I felt uncertain and afraid but kept telling myself it was just nervousness because it had been a while since I'd worked. I went for the 'orientation day' and the co workers were great and the manager was very nice, but I continued to feel uneasy and unsettled. Of course it was hard for me to be away from Luke for an entire day, but it was more than that. That night I prayed and prayed and just felt like I should call and turn down the job. I immediately felt ease and peace. The very next week David got a full time job with a very stable company. He didn't earn enough at the job for us to have many 'luxury's' but it was enough to keep us fed, clothed, and housed.

I didn't think about working again until David quit his job to go to grad school. We moved half way across the country with no actual income (besides scholarships and student loans) and I just felt like I really needed to step up and become the 'bread-winner.' I started putting out ads to do childcare in our home, but didn't get any response. Once again I applied for, interviewed and was offered a full time position as a preschool teacher. The boys would be able to come but would be in different classes. I felt like it would be a great opportunity because I could provide income and child-care at the same place. But once again I felt very uncertain and uneasy. I again prayed earnestly about what to do. In my prayer I said very specifically, "I need to decide within 5 minutes if I am going to take this job. If I am supposed to be home with my boys I need an immediate answer." The moment I ended my prayer the phone rang and it was someone calling about my in-home child care ad. The moment I hung up the phone it rang again, and again it was someone calling about my child care ad. I hadn't received a single inquiry in nearly 3 weeks. That was my answer. I soon began tending a little girl in our home and that was blessing though I could only do it for a few months. (Turns out that 3 children under the age of 3 is not easy!). But, I knew that I needed to be home with our boys even if that meant living off savings and student loans, cutting coupons, and tightening our belt.

I don't know what the next few weeks, months and years will bring and there is a possibility that I may find that I need to work or work from home, but for now I know my role and I have no regrets.

Big Changes

2011-05-19T21:20:00.000-07:00

Our little family is going through some big changes over then next several weeks and months. David has graduated and with that comes moving and looking for work. Times are tough right now and we are learning that first hand, but we have faith that things will work out. We know we've done all the things we have felt to be right, we've worked hard and done our best and now it's time to put things into the Lord's hands. I'm so proud of David and his accomplishments with school and that he was still able to be an attentive and devoted husband and father. For now, we will be moving in with my parents and will enjoy being 'so close' to family.

Vet School Open House

2011-04-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

The Texas A&M Vet school holds a free Open House each year with various displays, lots of animals, shows, and a petting zoo. Seth was fearless with all the animals and wanted to hold everything. There was a fistulated cow . . . the pictures will explain and look it up if you're curious . . . I was completely grossed out but Dave and the boys were brave. Anyway, it was fun day!

Blast to the Past!

2011-04-04T19:21:00.000-07:00

I threw a really fun surprise birthday party for David. It was scheduled for last weekend, but we all had the flu, so we had it this weekend instead. He really was surprised and it turned out great. Several couples ended up not being able to come when we rescheduled, but we had a great time with those that could make it. As you can tell from the pictures it was an 80's party. It was fun to dress up and the boys have loved playing with all the accessories. I bought an Atari which was a big hit and we played some 80's trivia games. Most of us decided we'd probably know more about 90's trivia, but it was still fun. I love you, David and I'm so grateful you were born!

If you don't like the weather, just wait a day . . .

2011-02-28T19:44:00.000-08:00

It seems like every place claims to have weather that changes quickly, but Texas truly does! Just a few weeks ago we had 2 snow days and just last week the boys were playing in the pool and hose. It was very recently winter and now spring is in full force, allergies and all. But I love warm weather and I love when the boys can play outside to their heart's content.

Let's be Real

2011-02-16T17:39:00.000-08:00

When I post something on my blog I want it to be true to life. Of course I want to be positive and up beat, but I want to be honest too. This is after all a journal of sorts, so why should I lie? Sometimes when I read other people's blogs I wonder how their lives can be so amazing? I read an article recently written by a so called, "young feminist atheist" about how she's obsessed with reading 'Mormon mommy blogs' because of the idea that 'the grass is always greener.' Essentially she feels that Mormon women are always happy, bake cookies and lounge around all day. As if being home with children is boring or we don't have enough to do. I respect the fact that she enjoys reading these blogs and I'm glad that they make family life seem enjoyable, but I think some of those blogs can be a bit out of reality. I mean, seriously, everyone has a bad day sometimes. And everyone snaps at their husband or snips at their children. We're not perfect. And sometimes we're just not happy and we don't know why. Some days I feel like I could pull my hair out, or like I just need to go for a very very very long drive. But at the end of each day, I wouldn't trade my life or my family for the world. The point is, it's not always easy and we mess up, but it's totally worth it. It's worth it because the purpose behind it all is so much greater than us. It's about raising these little people to be responsible, caring, sensitive, and loyal adults. And it's about helping them get back to their Father in Heaven. In the meantime we're allowing ourselves to be saved too. Parenthood is a refiner's fire. If we're trying to do it right we're stripped down to our true selves and every imperfection shows. And we can become better and say, "next time this happens I'll handle it differently, etc etc." Anyway, raising children is not easy, life is not easy, but it's so worth it!

The Loves of my Life

2011-02-14T20:10:00.000-08:00

As I get older (and no, I'm not saying I'm old), I am beginning to realize more and more that there are very few things in this life that matter. And there are a few things that really DO matter. It may seem cliche, but I truly believe that LOVE is what it's all about. From our existence, to our purpose, to where we are trying to go, it's all about love. I have 3 'loves of my life.' My Savior, Jesus Christ, my family, and my friends.

These relationships complete me. Nothing else matters. Maybe this seems like such a simplistic view, but I find complete and utter contentment and peace in my life when these relationships are in order. That's not to say that there's never stress or hardship, but there is peace.

Happy Valentine's Day!

4 years ago today . . .

2011-01-17T20:02:00.000-08:00

Our sweet, sensitive, thoughtful, energetic, talkative, handsome, loving boy Luke was born. Time really does speed up with kids. It's hard to believe he's already 4. I've never documented my birth experience with him, so I'm going to try and remember as well as I can and write it down before I forget it all.

On Jan 10, 2007 I went to the dr for my 39 week check up. At that point I had zero progression. I wasn't effaced, dialated and he hadn't dropped. I thought for sure he would be very overdue. But, on Jan 16 (the day before his due date) I started to feel a little different. My mom and I were doing some baby shopping at Babies R Us around 2pm and I had to run to the bathroom. I'll spare details, but those of you that have been through it probably know why. I'd read that from this point it could still take several days, so I tried not to get too excited. Then, around 4pm I started feeling what seemed to be muscle spasms that started in my lower back and moved to the front of my stomach. It wasn't painful at all but it was happening just about every 20 min, then 15 or so minutes. David came home for dinner around 5pm, but needed to go back, so I told him not to worry because I really didn't think anything would happen. At about 9pm I went into the laundry room to switch the laundry and when I stood up I had a really really painful contraction and my water broke. When I say it broke, I mean it gushed and exploded. Thank goodness I was on tile floor and thank goodness my mom was there! I yelled for her to come and she got some towels and a robe for me and called David to get home immediately. About 5-10 min later I had another painful contraction and more water and no husband. He got home soon after that and we rushed out of the house for the hospital. When I got into a room at the hospital and stood up out of the chair more water came rushing out, so they knew I would be staying and having a baby soon. We must have gotten to the hospital around 9:30pm. I asked for an epidural right away but my Dr recommended that I try a pain killer first, so I did for about 2 hours and then insisted on an epidural. From the time we got to the hospital Luke's heart rate was doing odd things, speeding up really fast and then slowing way down. We found that if I layed on my right side he seemed ok. I spent the entire labor lying on my right side . . . so the epidural only worked on that side and I felt everything on the left side which was kind of an odd feeling. At about 3:30am I was fully dilated, so the nurses said that I could start pushing. Although, I didn't have that pushing feeling yet (which I did feel with Seth even with a fully functioning epidural). So, I ended up pushing for 2 excruciating hours (much different than 2 contractions with Seth). It almost came to the point of needing to do an emergency c-section, and I have never been so tired in my life, but he was finally born at 5:30am on Jan 17, his due date. That's just like him to be right on time. It was an amazing experience to meet this perfect little boy for the first time. I'm so glad he's mine.

I've sent a family newsletter to our relatives every week since Luke was born, so these are the updates from the week of his birthday each year:

***Well, now that Luke is a week old it's time to start a weekly journal (as it has become tradition in the family to do one :)
This week has been absolutely amazing. Luke is such a good baby. He has brought such a peaceful and pure spirit into our home. I am so grateful for him and the little person he is. Things have been fairly slow around here as we've all been getting settled and figuring out our new roles as parents. Luke sleeps most of the time (of course) but he even sleeps for about 3 hours between feedings at night and he goes right back to sleep after he eats. We did have one rough night where he cried for about 2 hours, but I really think it's because he ate too much. We've given Luke a couple of baths this week and he doesn't protest too much, but I feel so bad for him because I can tell he's cold and uncomfortable. He also had his first tummy time last night and he actually stayed down for close to an hour. David and I just took turns laying by him and talking to him. We've been blessed to have my mom come stay with us until the 29th. It has been so good to have her here. We have also decided to have the blessing on March 4th, so I hope you can all make it.

***We are doing well here in freezing cold Provo. Luke is finally getting over his stomach flu and cold, so that's happy. Sadly, he got his first injury this week though. He dropped a package of 8 cans (from Costco) on his big toe. Thank goodness the toe didn't break, but it got really swollen and he cried for a long time after. He's doing much better now and despite that he's still crawling around and even walking! Yesterday we went to a play group and there were 3 babies a little older than him that were walking around, so when we got home he started walking too. I guess he just needed a little support from his cohorts. Luke is also starting to feed himself with utensils . . . he's at least practicing. He doesn't quite get the mechanics of it, but he sure likes to try. We will be having a little birthday party for Luke on Saturday with some of his friends from church, so that should be fun. I really can't believe he is already a year old. Time is just flying too fast!

***Luke is doing well for the most part. He's had some difficulty with going to sleep at night. I think it's been a combination of not being tired, and not feeling like he's getting enough mommy time (he's been a bit jealous of Seth). So, we've altered his bed time routine to include time with just me and I don't make him take a nap any more (I put toys and books in his crib for quite time) and he's been going to sleep easily and sleeping a solid 12 hours (where it's only been about 10 in the past). Luke turned 2 on Saturday and we had a fun day with him. We had a family breakfast and dinner and we took him to the dinosaur museum. I think he really enjoyed it (considering he cried when we left). He also had his 2 year doctor check up and he weighs 24 lbs 4 oz (10%) and he's 33 1/2" tall (25%). He had to get a shot, but he did really well and really didn't even cry (I think it helped that I gave him candy as soon it was over). He's starting to get interested in letters and colors and his favorite color appears to be orange (he always asks for his orange cup).

***Luke is doing really well and he loves getting to play outside. The weather has been in the 60's and 70's, so we've been outside most of everyday. He likes to go on walks and do whatever daddy does. Luke is full of questions and talks non stop, so we have to be very patient not to let that drive us crazy. He's become very confident this past month. His first day back at preschool he said, "I'm not going to cry mommy," as we were getting ready to go and sure enough he didn't. He just walked right in and sat down. He's also done very well in nursery which has been a struggle in the past. We had a very low key birthday and we celebrated by going to the children's museum and to dinner. We had a little party for him at Omi and Paki's house before we left as well.

***Luke has been doing really well. He talks a mile a minute and has questions about everything! He's been really into birthdays because it's his birthday tomorrow and he was so surprised to find out that some people have the same birthday. When I first told him my birthday was in January too he said, "No mom, people can't have their birthdays at the same time!" But I finally convinced him that it was possible. He went to Sunbeams in our ward for the first time today and seemed to do really well. David said he had a hard time getting him in there but when I picked him up he was all smiles. Luke has become a master staller at bedtime. He has so many great tactics up his sleeve. My favorite one so far happened when we were at my parents house. He came out of his room and told me he had something in his nose. I brought him back to his bed and he said, "my nose hurts, I'm really afraid it's going to hurt forever." I replied that he should try to go to sleep and it would stop hurting. He then shut his eyes really tight and then opened them and said, "I went to sleep mom, it didn't work." This little boy sure makes us laugh.

Let's start from the very begining

2011-01-16T20:12:00.000-08:00

We took it nice and slow on our drive to Utah. We left the first day around 9am and made our first stop at the Waco Zoo. We really liked this zoo and felt like it was just the right size. The animals are really close up, so you actually get to see them and we went on a day that was a little cooler (low 50's) so there were hardly any people there. From there we drove straight through to Wichita Falls. We made sure to get a hotel with a pool, so that we could take the boys swimming. They had so much fun and I think it was a highlight of the trip for Luke. The second day was very long and harrowing. We stopped in the morning and explored an old train in Childress, and then we stopped in the afternoon at a children's museum in Amarillo. I wish we'd had more time to spend there because it was a great museum. From Amarillo we drove through to Albuquerque and this was probably the worst part of all our time in the car. Poor Seth had a tummy ache and was just wailing 'My tummy hurts, my tummy hurts!' He was inconsolable until about 2 hours later he started passing lots and lots of gas and then seemed to be all better. Poor guy! We made our way to Gallup that night and stayed in an awful hotel. The last day was fine, but we were all so ready to be in Provo. We got there around 3pm and the boys immediately started playing and reading with their grandparents. We were so excited to start relaxing and enjoying family!

Vacation Extravaganza Preview

2011-01-13T19:59:00.000-08:00

*3 1/2 weeks *nearly 3,200 miles *a new windshield *almost 6 days in the car *2 sides of the family *AZ and UT *the most barren, wasteland drive in the country *lots of sleepless nights *amazing Christmas *stomach flu *visits with all of my grandparents *cousins! *scooter fun *trains *carousel rides *Santa *Exhausting, but totally worth it!

Christmas in the Park

2010-12-10T20:02:00.000-08:00

Tonight we went to Christmas in the Park. It is a free community event with lights, hay rides, hot chocolate, cookies, music and Santa. The lines for the hay ride and Santa were pretty long so we let Luke choose which he wanted to do and he chose the hay ride. He'll get to see Santa in a couple of weeks when we go on a 'Polar Express' train ride. The boys LOVED the hay ride and had such big smiles on their faces. There were also animal characters walking around the park greeting children. I was afraid Seth would be scared of them, but he walked right up and gave them big hugs. He said, "I want to see the teddy bear again!" (We can't believe he's talking in full sentences!) A church across the street from the park was doing a live Nativity. They had a camel, donkey, sheep and lots of goats. Both boys had so much fun petting the animals and Seth was going crazy trying to hug them and chase them. It was a great little outing and it was all free!! Sorry about the low quality pictures, our little point and shoot camera doesn't do very well in the dark.

Gig 'em Aggies!

2010-11-30T18:19:00.001-08:00

Living in CS has opened my eyes to a whole new world of football. The people here live for football like nowhere else! David has loved living here because he is a big fan of college football and he was excited to join the Aggie spirit. He's had season tickets the past 2 years and I finally went to a game this season. It just happened to be one of their worst games, which they lost . . . but it was still a lot of fun! Anyway, the Ags are going to a bowl game and can we just say, David is 'excited!' We had a lot of fun going to the pre-game festivities last weekend as a family.

Birthday Boy!

2010-11-26T20:05:00.001-08:00

It's so hard to believe that my baby is 2! Sometimes I like to snuggle him close and say, 'my little baby' in a cutesy voice. He just laughs at me and then wiggles away. Just recently though he's been coming up to me and saying 'little baby' and then crawling into my arms. He's such a little charmer. He had a great birthday. He was served crepes with Nutella and whipped cream for breakfast followed by presents. He got a bucket of tools, Doc Hudson (his favorite Cars car), some books, a monster truck and lots of construction tractors. He spent the whole day playing with his new toys. The next day he had a little birthday party with close friends and it was fun and very low key. We love you so much Bubba, Bubs, chubby bubby, Sethy, Sessy!

Fried Twinkies

2010-11-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday we drove past the mall and Luke noticed a huge Ferris wheel in the parking lot. A carnival was being set up and he requested to drive by every day to look at all the rides. Luke has been sick all week and we've been cooped up in the house so we decided to go ahead and take the boys tonight since he's feeling a little better. Luke was so excited about it and he never once asked or begged to go. He would just say things like, "I bet that dragon roller coaster is so fun!" The rides were pretty spendy and the employees were a little scary (smoking while they helped kids to their seats/mohawks/etc) but the boys were in heaven! Their smiles were so big and they were so excited about everything. They only got to go on 4 rides, but they loved it. Right before we left we decided to try the infamous fried twinkies . . . amazing! Just don't think about all the fat and calories! I think Dave and I only got 2 bites each because the boys devoured them. Seth had a major meltdown when we got to the car and he realized it was time to go.

Super Family!

2010-11-01T19:49:00.000-07:00

We had a fun Halloween this year. Last week we had a Halloween preschool party. We played lots of games and decorated sugar cookies. For our costumes on Saturday, I found a batman and a robin costume at the thrift store for $2 each! They were missing capes, so my mom made them and then Dave and I were Clark Kent and Lois Lane. We went to the trunk or treat at our church and Seth LOVED the idea of getting candy. He caught on very quickly!

Preschool

2010-10-08T20:15:00.000-07:00

This school year I decided to do something a little crazy. Most of my friends are pregnant or have just had a baby, so not many of them wanted to do a preschool swap . . . I figured I'm not pregnant and don't plan to be any time soon, I have a preschool age child, and I have experience, so I'm teaching preschool in our home. It's not much, just twice a week and we're having a lot of fun. There are 5-6 children ages 3-5 and they are all such good little friends. I've figured out a good schedule and as long as they get several breaks to play they do really well. I started in June and took a few weeks off in August. So far we've covered birds, food and nutrition, health, individuality, and fall/leaves. We're going on a field trip this week to a farm/pumpkin patch and we plan to have a great year. Luke LOVEs having preschool at his house!

Spritited Child

2010-09-29T18:12:00.000-07:00

Just about 2 years ago a beautiful little boy joined our family. He had the chubbiest cheeks and softest skin. He looked exactly like his daddy and seemed to be docile and calm. We were struggling to decide on a name for this charming baby. We had it narrowed down to Conner and Seth. After his first day I said, 'Seth just seems like a calm and peaceful name. He seems that way, lets go with that.'

Once we were home from the hospital (and I couldn't send him to the nursery) he seemed a little more fussy and difficult to calm, but he had severe jaundice for 2 weeks with so many foot pricks his poor heels were covered in little cuts and nursing was a struggle. And then he developed reflux and would immediately spit up everything he ate. He was uncomfortable and his first year is a complete blur. We called it quits with nursing at about 3 1/2 months when he absolutely refused to latch and the poor boy woke every 1-2 hours until he was 5 months old. After some help from my mom those sleeping stretches grew to about 3-4 hours until he was 18 months old. Then magically, one night we put him down at 7:30pm and he didn't wake again until almost 8am.

He has never been easy to please. He has never been a child that would sit in a saucer or swing. Even when being held he had to be jostled and cajoled to keep him somewhat happy. But, boy can he smile. When he's happy, he's happy. He doesn't just giggle, he laughs out loud. But, 5 seconds later he can be a wailing heap on the floor.

Once he could sit he was irate to be put on the floor with toys (unless someone was right next to him). He started crawling at only 5 1/2 months and from that point has never stopped moving. But with his mobility came more independence and more confidence and happiness for him. He screamed and went ridged every time I put him in his car seat or high chair until he was about 18 mo old. Now, he gets in his car seat happily and does well as long as he doesn't have to be there for too long. We gave up the high chair and booster seat months ago, it wasn't worth the fight. He is so loving and loves to snuggle. From the time he could squeeze he has given great bear hugs and the sweetest slobbery kisses. But the moment something doesn't go his way (which is very very often) his first reaction is to hit or fall on the floor screaming.

He knows what he wants, how he wants it, and when he wants it. He becomes an inconsolable, raging boy when anything is wrong. He finds anything in his path to hit, kick or destroy. But, when all is right in his world he is the sweetest and cutest child around. We are drawn to his tenacity and lively personality and he makes us laugh. We have a lot of wonderful, high moments with this child and we equally have a lot of low and difficult moments with him.

I have often wondered what I could be doing better. And I read a lot of parenting books and I read all the 'get your baby to sleep,' 'get your child to cooperate,' etc etc. And some things have helped in some areas but overall I have felt like these things just don't work on him.
A few days ago I was having several hard moments with him, and I had a constant prayer in my heart and mind, "please help me be kind and patient, please help me be kind and patient, and what am I doing wrong, what should I be doing?" That very day a great friend of mine from back in Provo emailed me and said that she felt prompted to tell me about a book called, "Raising your Spirited Child: a guide for parent's whose child is more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and energetic." I immediately went and bought the book. The first chapter described Seth almost to a T. And the author went on to say that these children are completely normal, just MORE, spirited. And she said that she didn't like the labels given to them; difficult, demanding, stubborn, extreme, wild, impatient, anxious and instead uses labels like; zestful, curious, charismatic, compelling, dramatic, analytical. I am excited to read more. So far I am feeling more hopeful and I feel strongly that I need to accept Seth and embrace him and not try to change him, but teach him how to channel his temperament in positive ways. He is an amazing addition to our family and although he is not what I had envisioned he is just right.

Words of Encouragement and Brushing Teeth

2010-09-20T18:20:00.001-07:00

This afternoon while the boys played out in the front yard (thank goodness for semi-cooler weather!) I watched a boy skate boarding home from school. He was probably about 11 and he stumbled a little bit but caught himself. I was very impressed with his response. Rather than cuss he said out loud, "Way to go! You're getting it!" and then clapped. This moment probably made my whole day. It reminded me just how important it is to be encouraging. Not just to others, but to ourselves as well. I think like most women, I am my worst judge. I set these outrageous expectations and then get so mad at myself for not fulfilling them. I want to keep my house picked up and cleaned, give my children complete attention, read books, work on family history, learn to sew, cook gourmet meals, go on lots of dates with my husband, learn to can, do more with photography, have children that don't fight or fuss or throw tantrums . . ., work on emergency preparedness, do cute crafts and projects, organize my house, be a better visiting teacher, know exactly when and how to serve and the list goes on. I look at all the AMAZING women around me and of course I just focus on their best qualities. 'Well, so and so does this and so and so does that, so why can't I?' What I often forget is that so and so's life is different than mine and she has different talents and interests and she probably feels the same way I do. Why do we do this to ourselves? So here are some words of encouragement, "Way to go!"

The boys really don't like to brush their teeth, really. And Luke is usually pretty good about it, but tonight he didn't want too (probably because I didn't make them last night since David wasn't home), anyway, He finally grabbed the teeth from mister potato head, stuck them in his mouth and said, 'ok, you can brush my teeth now.' Pretty clever.

Day of Rest

2010-09-19T18:05:00.001-07:00

I've had this post in my mind for quite some time. I remember the days when Sunday really was a day of rest. We would go to our regular church meetings and then come home and take a 3 hour nap. This was before we had children obviously and before David had leadership meetings. Our Sundays are quite a bit more hectic lately and it's probably our busiest day of the week. Here's a little review of our day:

6:25am - we hear the boys stirring
6:30 - David gets up to shower and the boys come out of their room (Luke helps Seth get out of his crib in the mornings)
6:45 - we all eat breakfast
7:20 - David leaves for his meetings, boys and I play in the living room and backyard . . .I attempt to read conference talks and scriptures
9:15 - boys watch Mickey Mouse while I take a shower and get ready (I need to get some living scriptures or something)
10:15 - David comes home!! we get the boys dressed and I finish getting ready
10:45 - go to church (David ended up in the hall most of the time even though I'm in the nursery, Seth usually wants him and doesn't want to be in nursery . . . such a stinker!)
2:15pm - home, quickly get the boys lunch, put Seth down for a nap and clean up the house
3:00 - home teachers come
3:40 - home teachers leave, continue cleaning up, getting dinner ready, Seth wakes up very cranky
4:00 - friends from David's program come over for dinner (they have twin girls Seth's age)
(4:30 - I would usually go to choir practice, but skipped today for dinner)
5:45 - friends leave and we go out front to let the boys play
6:00 - our neighbors (also in our ward) head to the park so the boys and I join them, meanwhile Dave leaves for a stake priesthood meeting
7:30 - get home, bathe boys, sing songs, pray, get them in bed
8:00 - start writing this post

Our Sundays are some variation of this with visiting teaching, home teaching, etc. and after reading this I feel like maybe I'm not very good at keeping the day holy. The boys end up playing in the yard a lot. I guess the biggest difference is that most of our day revolves around church and fulfilling our callings as home and visiting teachers. Even though it can be stressful and certainly doesn't seem like a day of rest, our home usually feels a little more peaceful. I would love any suggestions for Sunday activities with children. They're getting old enough that I want them to know that it really is a sacred day, so suggest away!

So Much to Blog, So Little Time

2010-09-09T18:41:00.001-07:00

The month of August flew by so fast, just like the rest of the year has. In the past month we've gone on vacation to Utah (for nearly 2 weeks), Dave has started his last year of school, and I am teaching preschool with Luke and 4 other children 2 afternoons a week (while Seth naps).

We had such a good time in Utah and loved visiting family and enjoying the weather. I had forgotten just how beautiful it is there! We could actually play outside at any time of the day and the mountains are gorgeous. We love it here in Texas, but it's just not the same. Visiting our families really makes me wish we lived closer so we could see them all more often, but we are so grateful for the times that we do get to be together. Since coming home we've loved getting together with friends and making new friends (30 new families moved into our ward this month). I'm having fun teaching preschool and it's a learning experience for me as well to figure out what the kids like and how to get them really excited about learning. Overall things are really good for us and we're expecting to have a great school year.

It's weird to think that in just 8 short months David will graduate and we'll be moving on to something else in our lives. Maybe I'm weird, but I'm going to be sad when it ends. Just because that means we're going to have to move and leave behind some great friends. Even though we knew we'd only be here for less then 2 years we decided in the beginning to 'stand where our feet are' and enjoy things right now instead of living for the future. Living with this kind of mentality has been so good for me. Anyway, maybe I'll post a little more often now, but here are some pictures from the last month.

I just have to say, Seth is a crack up. This kid makes us laugh all the time . . . you can see it in some of the pictures.

A Dream Come True

2010-08-07T19:10:00.000-07:00

On Friday we took the boys to the Texas Department of Public Safety's 75th anniversary celebration (say that 5 times fast!). They had police cars, helicopters, swat vans, tanks, crime labs, Texas Ranger horses, K-9 dogs, an inflatable obstacle course and lots of other 'cool' things. The only thing that was not 'cool' was the weather. Let's just say it was HOT! But what do you expect for Austin in August . . . perhaps they should have done this in April . . . I should have been on the planning committee. Anyway, it was about a 2 hour drive for us (David's daily commute for only 3 more days!), but the boys were perfect. They just hung out the first hour and watched Little Einsteins the second hour. They were in pure heaven the entire time we were there and loved everything. Luke's favorite parts were the search boat, and the obstacle course. Seth seemed to love the helicopter, dogs, and music. The boys were both so beat by the time we left at about 1pm that Seth fell asleep as we left the parking lot and Luke soon after and they didn't wake up until we got home. That was my dream come true!

Boys: A day in the life

2010-07-26T19:01:00.000-07:00

Having two boys is oh so 'exciting.' There is never a dull moment or a quiet moment for that matter (unless they're both asleep). Here's a recap of today's activities. We started the morning with some books in big brother's bed. Followed up by climbing into the bathroom sink while mom was in the other room. After lunch and naps they played in the mud for a solid 2 hours and ended up sans clothes (pure joy for them). Took a leisurely bath with as many cars as possible and ended the evening with a wrestling match with daddy the moment he got home. These two guys completely wear me out, but I guess they're worth it . . . most of the time.

Gone Wild!

2010-07-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

Today has been kind of a crazy day with nature! Dave mowed the lawn this morning so I went to clean up the back yard a little bit and found a nest on the ground with 2 baby birds. There was no sign of a mommy bird, so we made a little house for them and we're looking for somewhere to take them. I don't want to give them to animal control because they'll probably just kill them and so far the closest 'rescue' place I've been able to find is an hour away. We may need to make a trip out to Houston and visit Aunt Wendy! For now, we'll do our best to take care of them. We went to Petco to get some food for them and while we were there Seth got really interested in the Beta fish. So interested in fact that he took a drink from one of the cups. David and I were disgusted! Also while David was mowing the lawn he found a HUGE spider. So of course rather than kill it he had to capture it in a jar. The boys thought it was awesome!

So glad I'm not 13

2010-06-26T20:15:00.001-07:00

So I was going through a couple of boxes with things from way back when and found my middle school journal. While my intent was not to read any of it, I started browsing and ended up reading for about 2 hours. I nearly cried a few times. I started to feel a little vulnerable and insecure. I had forgotten about some of the things that had happened and remembered why I disliked those years of my life so much. But as I read through the progressing year I saw my insecure, lonely little self changing and growing. And there were good moments mixed in with the bad and there were amazing people that I know were placed in my life at just the right times. Mary J, Andrea W, Summer H, and Noelene C (all have different last names now) will always have a place in my heart. My family was and is amazing and my sisters did so much more for me than they will ever know. I am so glad that we grow up and hopefully most of us are better because of our experiences. And I just want to apologize to Stephanie G (J now), I accidentally hit you with a shot-put during practice and I really really didn't mean too. I have always felt so bad about that.

Humor Me

2010-06-23T19:51:00.001-07:00

Once again, Luke is hilarious. He really makes us laugh all the time. Today he said several things that needed to be remembered.

He saw some of my cleavage when I bent over to help Seth with something:
Luke: Mommy, why does your tummy have a whole in it?
Me: I was very confused for a moment and finally realized what he was referring too, so I tried to explain a little about the female anatomy without going too much into detail.
Luke: Yeah, everyone in our family has nipples
Me: That's right, but all people have nipples, not just people in our family
Luke: So, why does your tummy have a whole in it? Our bottoms are down here (as he points to his bottom)
At this point I didn't know what else to say . . .

He's developing a case of the gimmes (wants everything at the store), so I was trying to explain that we can't have everything right when we want it.
Me: Mommy and Daddy hardly ever get toys or things that we want. We have to spend our money on things like food and clothes.
Luke: Ya, you play with our toys, why don't grown ups have toys?
Me: I don't know, what do you think?
Luke: Because grown ups don't laugh

After we read our scriptures he wanted to 'read' too. This is the gospel according to Luke:
'Alma was on his pirate ship and went on the water that had big waves. He got to the place where all the Lamanites were and they went to a little castle with a lot of little kings. They all went out to Jesus and got on a bus and drove to their new house in Texas.'

He is quite the photographer as well. Here are some of his latest:

Happenings

2010-06-17T20:05:00.000-07:00

Not too much is going on with us. Mostly a lot of lazy summer days playing in the hose, going swimming, eating popsicles and trying to stay cool. We had a few days of serious rain so we were stuck inside (it was so heavy I was scared to drive too), so we got creative building forts and having picnics on the living room floor. I layed out in the grass while the boys played in the mud yesterday and I kind of felt like a kid again just looking up at the clouds. It was nice . . . kids are good for us.

Moments

2010-06-08T20:10:00.000-07:00

I spend several days alone with the boys lately while David interns 2 hours away. I am not at all complaining, because really it's not too bad and he has a few days off each week as well. But, my point is that all this time with little adult interaction leads to a lot of thinking. As I sweep the kitchen floor for the 3rd time in one day (Seth is possibly the messiest eater to have lived), and gaze upon the 3 baskets of laundry just longing to be folded and the 4 loads waiting patiently in the hallway to be washed, and clean the bathroom because the boys created a hurricane in the sink, and wash the dishes and wash some more dishes and pick up toys (I think you get it) all while little arms clench to my legs, I wonder what's the point? Some days I get so frazzled and burdened down. It's like all the things I have to do are this huge mountain and every time I take a step forward I get dragged backwards 2 steps. My children are literally pint sized tornadoes that do level 10 damage. There are bills to pay, education to gain, callings to fulfill, errands to run. And I start to wonder, what is the point of doing this day after day after day? But then, there are moments. The double high fives for using the potty, the death grip hugs and slobbery kisses, being asked to sing, 'the Spirit of God' loud like they did in church, being the source of comfort, watching two small brothers give each other hugs, asking the older brother if he loves the younger and hearing 'ya, I really do' in reply, finding comfort and acceptance in the arms of my husband, sharing burdens with sisters and friends. And for a brief moment I feel like I can see eternity. It's not only that I can see it, but I can feel it. Like it's a part of me, of something I was and can be again. And the more I focus on those moments, the more frequently they occur and I feel like it's all starting to make sense. These moments occur in the essence of love. What if it really is all as simple as love? God loved us so he sent His Son, Love one Another, Charity (the pure love of Christ) never faileth. So who cares if my house is a disaster sometimes? Am I really alone there? The point of living my life day after day after day is to prove to my Heavenly Father that I can do it. That I can love the way that He does and that I can become like Him. And I don't believe that's a spiteful kind of proving. I think it's humble, borne from hard work, tears, suffering, unselfishness and so on. Obviously, some days are better than others, but I think that's why we've been given so many. Because some days are great and some moments show us our true potential.

Daily 5

2010-06-01T18:12:00.000-07:00

Blogging has been hard for me lately. I would often much rather just read everyone else's, but this is really a journal for our family, so I'm going to try and start up the gratitude posts again.
*There were a few hiccups with David's internship, but it's all been figured out, so he's very excited to be able to continue. He was actually offered another position today, so it was a little stressful having to decide but we feel like it's the best decision.
*We bought some huge blocks for only $1 at our ward garage sale and the boys have had a lot of fun playing with them. Seth especially likes to knock them down.
*David has had the whole week off, so we've had a lot of fun just hanging out and getting things done around the house.
*I had a chance to read my scriptures uninterrupted. I love being able to do that because usually there are kids crying at my feet while I'm reading ;)
*We went swimming for the 3rd time this week. The boys have a new love and I have a feeling we'll be spending all summer in the pool. Really, it's the only way to survive this humidity and heat! And maybe I'll get a shade darker than pasty, haha!

Pictures from the past few weeks.

Back to Reality!

2010-05-21T12:04:00.000-07:00

Cousins Jake and Luke

The graduate, grandparents, and Luke snuck in there

Seth and his new cousin Penny. He wanted to hold her a lot, haha.

Obviously I've been on a blogging hiatus. We've had a long month full of visits to and from family. We started by going to my brother, Kevin's, graduation from Parker Chiropractic College. It was so fun to visit with them and to celebrate all his hard work. Then my parents came down to visit us and my mom drove back to AZ with the boys and me. Dave flew out to spend a few days after his finals were over and then we drove back home. Spending 20ish hours in the car each way sure makes me realize how far away our families are and that makes me sad. But, thankfully now that we are finally readjusting to our life at home we do love it here and we have lots of great friends here. Our biggest news lately is that David got an internship that he is really excited about. He has to commute about 2 hours each way, but it's only 3 days a week so I think we'll all manage. I can't say what's he doing on an open blog like this and we may have to become private soon if he continues down this career path. Anyway, life is good and we're back on-line.

(Occassional) Daily Ten

2010-04-09T20:33:00.000-07:00

- I woke up with the boys this morning and let David sleep in, so we went and got Shipley's Do-Nuts in our jammies and brought them home. I am a little ashamed to say that our little family finished off a dozen of those delicious goodies in a matter of hours.
- David cleaned up the house last night so I was able to wake up to a clean house . . . which sadly rarely happens.
- Have I mentioned that I have an awesome husband. I love him.
- The boys and I went to music makers (a weekly music class for toddlers) and Seth is starting to sing the songs. It was adorable!
- I babysat my friend's little girls and all the kids played so well together.
- The weather was amazing so we spent the majority of the day outside.
- Seth took a 3 hour nap! Which means I took a nap!
- The boys followed David around the yard with their lawn mowers while he mowed. It was so cute.
- We washed both cars.
- We did a little family photo shoot in the bluebonnets. Spring is so beautiful and I love all the Texas wildflowers!

Spring Break

2010-04-06T09:32:00.000-07:00

This is a long time coming, but we had a really fun Spring Break. We went to San Antonio for 3 days and although it was quite crowded with everyone on break it was a lot of fun. Poor Luke was in the middle of a terrible cold (which Seth and I later got) with a fever, runny nose and terrible cough, but he was a trooper and had a great time anyway. We went to the zoo, a children's theme park called Kiddie Park, and the River Walk. We decided not to go to the Children's museum because I didn't want to spread Luke's germs on everything, but I hear it's awesome. The boys did pretty well and the drive wasn't too bad (if you can handle Seth's screaming, haha). It's a place I'm sure will visit again in the future.

Ramblings

2010-03-23T20:10:00.000-07:00

This is really about nothing in particular and I hope I can actually write something because Luke is sleeping about 4 feet away from me and I don't want to wake him. At least he has a blanket over his head so the light from the computer shouldn't bother him. I finally decided that Seth is getting too big and mobile to sleep in our beat down pack n play (in the bathroom) any longer. So, he has been moved to the crib, which has been Luke's bed and Luke has been moved onto a toddler mattress until his bed is ready. David built it and it's in the process of getting painted. The boys do NOT do well in the same room at night. They constantly wake each other and they both end up in tears at least once in the middle of the night and then they wake up extra early in the morning. Because I like to sleep, something I haven't had much of since Seth was born, we put Luke in the office . . . so far so good. It may become his permanent bedroom.

The boys and I have been fighting a nasty, nasty cold this week. I haven't felt this sick in a long time, but I'm on the mend and the boys are much better too. Seth got into the bag of cough drops (the good Halls Breezers kind) and was in heaven with two in his mouth and a fist full in his hands when I found him. He was quite put out when I took them all away.

I think it's fun when I see random things that make me laugh. Today while we were out in the front yard a woman was walking by with a stroller. Silly me, I assumed there was a baby in it. It turned out to be 3 very small dogs, each wearing a little outfit. It just made me laugh. But, I'm glad she has them.

I have more Luke quotes:
Yesterday I was telling David that I had several canker sores in my mouth because I've been sick and Luke said:

"Is a sore kinda like a dinosaur?"

David was flipping through channels and Wheel of Fortune was on:

Luke: "What is that prophet doing that is talking to those people?" (Referring to the host) Apparently men in suits are prophets

I was telling Luke about family names and who belongs to what family. We are the 'J' family, Addy (cousin) is in the "T" family, "J" is in the Roach family:

Luke: "Is Roach kinda like a Cock Roach?"

Here are some recent pictures because that's more fun. You're a trooper if you read my ramblings.

This is How I Roll

2010-03-20T18:54:00.000-07:00

Seth found D's wedding ring, watch, and back scratcher. He insisted on wearing them for quite a while, even during snack. This kid cracks me up.

Conversations with a 3 Year Old

2010-03-08T17:18:00.000-08:00

Luke makes us laugh constantly with the things he says. I want to be sure and record some of them before I forget!

Luke sang really loud during all the songs in church yesterday. No matter the song he belted 'I Need Thee Every Hour' and he was very proud of himself. Later that night he said:

Luke: I sang really loud in church. I sang so loud that everyone could hear me. I sang so loud that the prophets could hear me!

Me: Who are the prophets?

Luke: They bring us the bread and water
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

We've had a few 'difficult' days. With so much sickness and cabin fever there has been a bit of tension. Luke has had a really hard time sharing and David was getting especially frustrated so finally this happened:

David: Should I just throw all your cars in the garbage?

Luke: No, Daddy! Let's throw you in the garbage!

A while later after he calmed down:

Luke: Daddy, I'm sorry that I wanted to throw you in the garbage.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Me: Okay, it's time to go to the grocery store.

Luke: We don't need to go to the grocery store. We already have food. We need to go to Toys R Us and get cars.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Me: Who is your favorite Car? (from the movie, Cars)

Luke: Flo

Me: Why do you like Flo?

Luke: She's cute (a little shyly)

Where's my mommy?

2010-03-04T17:11:00.000-08:00

So, yet again David and Luke have the stomach flu (Seth is just getting over it). Thank goodness I haven't had it, but I am so sick and tired of everyone at our house being sick and tired. We really love living here, but it's times like this that I wish we had some family nearby to rely on for support. The house is in possibly it's worst condition ever and I just can't gather the strength to take care of it. I just want a little vacation from being a mommy and to have my mommy take care of me. But, these two little rascals are worth everything and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Daily Ten

2010-02-22T18:13:00.001-08:00

It's been a while . . . no excuses, just haven't but here we go for today.

-We have a new cousin/neice. Audrey and Marcus had their 3rd daughter. I can't wait to see pictures and meet her!
-Currently everyone is healthy (I just got over a nasty cold)
-Seth took an awesome nap today (2 hours is great for him)
-Luke and I painted pictures for daddy while he was at school
-We had awesome weather for a couple of days . . . apparently it's supposed to snow later this week though, which I'm not too happy about.
-The boys played very nicely in the backyard for about 45 min - since we have a big window right off the kitchen I was able to do dishes and keep an eye on them.
-Seth read books on my lap for about 20 minutes. For a boy that likes to move so much this was very nice
-David is an amazing husband/father. He always takes care of us in every way possible. He really stepped up while I was sick.
-The boys went to bed really well tonight
-I get to go hang out with my hubby

Happier things

2010-02-11T19:58:00.000-08:00

Seems like the past several posts have been very serious and gloomy, so I just want it to be known that we are actually doing really well. Life is busy and never dull with two young (active, very active) boys. Here's just a few pictures from the past couple of weeks.

Mother of the Year Award

2010-02-11T19:31:00.000-08:00

We're only 2 months into this year and I already deserve the worst mother of the year award (because of events in 1 week). My stomach is churning as a write this because thinking about it is so frightening to me. This evening as I was taking Seth out of his bath I had a distinct thought (promting from the spirit I'm sure) to remove the plug. I sometimes leave the water because Luke gets in right afterward. But, I didn't take out the plug becasue I was trying to hurry and keep the bedtime routine going. I took Seth into the living room where David and Luke were playing with cars and put on his diaper and jammies. As soon as I finished, David asked me to find some phone numbers that he needed, so before I forgot about it I just decided to go do that (forgetting about the full tub). I went into the office down the hall and aparently Seth followed soon after. I thought Seth was with David and he thought Seth had followed me into the office. I heard Seth crying, but thought he was with David, so I was going to let him handle it . . . Likewise, David thought I was taking care of Seth . . . until he just continued to cry (possibly as long as a minute). I followed his cry into the bathroom and found him frantically trying to climb out of the tub drenched from head to toe. He must have fallen in head first and I don't even want to think about what could have happened if he had hit his head or been more quite and we hadn't heard him. I am in constant prayer thanking Heavenly Father that my little boy is ok. Please, once again learn from my mistakes . . . always follow promptings, and know where your children are, always.

Word to the 'Un'Wise

2010-02-07T12:59:00.000-08:00

So, most of you are probably better mothers than me and would never give your almost 15 month old popcorn. I chose to avoid the crying, begging, whimpering, screaming, and leg clinging by just giving in and letting the boy have some . . . big mistake. Seth had had popcorn several times before, but yesterday he started choking terribly. He was coughing, gagging, and turning purple. David and I did our best to perform baby Heimlich, but nothing came up. After several minutes he finally calmed down and was breathing ok, but by bedtime I was afraid to let him go to bed because he was wheezing so badly. I took him to the ER (second time in one week for our family) at about 6:45pm. After seeing a nurse, PA, Dr, X-Ray guy, Respiratory Therapist, and an ENT it was decided that the ENT should scope his airway and lungs. At about 11pm he was put under and scoped and sure enough he had popcorn stuck in his left Bronchial tube. He came out of it great and we were able to leave a little before 1am. I wish I hadn't given him that popcorn, but now you can all learn from my mistake. No matter how much they throw a fit it's not worth it!

Daily Ten

2010-02-01T20:19:00.001-08:00

-The boys slept in til 6:45 and neither of them woke in the middle of the night! One of them usually wakes in the night and they usually wake up between 5:45-6:15, so this was really amazing!
-Luke is doing much better and has been full of energy and happy all day
-Seth took a really good nap, so Luke and I had a lot of good time and I was able to tackle a few things I've been meaning to do
-Luke played really well by himself for a long time (he's been having a hard time with this lately)
-We had a dance party this evening. Music included Raffi and Primary songs. It was a lot of fun until I got too into it and knocked Seth over with my booty :(
-I made dinner for the 4th night in a row!
-We had FHE and got treats. We had to go to the store to get milk, so we each got to pick a treat. Luke chose powdered doughnuts, Dave chose chocolate milk and I chose chocolate covered pretzels - I think Seth enjoyed eating it most!
-Watched 24 with the hubs
-My VT offered to bring dinner tomorrow. She is so sweet!
-I'm going to bed now and I really like sleeping

Daily Ten

2010-01-31T18:22:00.000-08:00

-I'm so grateful for a husband that holds the priesthood and is worthy to use it. Luke has croup as of 1:45am - he came running into our room just gasping for air, so David gave him a blessing and I ran him to the hospital. We stayed for a couple of hours and he's doing ok, but seems miserable.
-I had 3 days of 'rest' before someone got sick again
-We had a great evening with our friends last night. Their girls are the same ages as our boys and we love spending time with all of them.
-I got to go visiting teaching (it's so nice to socialize and get out of the house)
-Seth, David, and I are very healthy as of right now
-I spent a lot of time holding and cuddling Luke
-I talked to my mom - she is amazing
-I cleaned the bathroom yesterday (not so fun, but it's great to have it clean)
-I found out David's cousin (Kourtney) is having a baby girl and she's so excited
-pajamas (that's all I need to say about that)

Daily Ten (for 3 days)

2010-01-29T17:28:00.000-08:00

Since I've been a slacker I'll just do a combination of the past few days!

-No one is sick anymore!
-I have lived another year and celebrated another birthday
-I have an amazing husband
-Seth and Luke shower me with hugs and kisses daily - there are often jealousy scuffles :(
-We have the most wonderful families and great friends
-I actually made dinner tonight
-I cleaned up Luke's room and it feels so much better
-Luke goes to preschool happily now and he's even excited for it. This is a big one because he used to cry just at the mention of preschool
-I have Blue Bell cookie dough ice cream in my freezer and will be eating it in about 10 minutes
-It dropped about 20 degrees today and I have a warm place to live

Daily Ten

2010-01-25T17:30:00.001-08:00

-The boys have had the stomach flu and Luke only threw up one time and I actually had the bucket ready so clean up was easy!
-Seth took a good, long nap and seems to be over his flu
-By the afternoon Luke started acting like he was feeling much better
-Luke and I read several books together
-I showered by 9 am
-Once again, the weather is amazing
-We went on a walk and played outside
-David got new jeans that look really good ;)
-I finally started to tackle cleaning up the office
-I laid on the floor to rest and ended up wrestling for about 15 minutes . . . these boys make me laugh

Daily Ten

2010-01-23T18:19:00.000-08:00

I am totally copying this idea from a friend's blog (Jamie, and I think she's copying it too, haha), but I think it's such a positive and good thing and really makes you realize how good life is.

-After waking up early with the boys David let me go back to bed and I slept for another 3 hours!
-I got to spend the day with my family
-Luke and I went to the grocery store alone . . . so much easier with one child!
-Went on a bike ride with the boys in tow for the 2nd day in a row and it feels so good to exercise.
-The weather was amazing!
-Talked with a few of our neighbors and got to know them better
-Got a phone call from a friend about where I take Luke to get his hair cut - it just reassured me that I have close friends, haha
-David is doing the dishes right now, he really is awesome!
-The missionaries (sisters) came over for dinner and we love them
-Both boys went down for the night without a peep

Christmas Vacation: Part 2

2010-01-23T17:50:00.000-08:00

After our visit to AZ we headed up to Utah to visit David's parents. It was a great, relaxing visit. His mom was so good to let us sleep in and she even let Luke sleep in her room every night, which he loved! We went out to eat a lot, saw 4 movies in the theater (that's how many we've seen this whole year!), visited with family and friends, went to the dinosaur museum, the boys went to an airplane museum, played in the snow, went bowling, and passed around a lot of sickness (not so much fun). We were so sad to leave, but glad to come back to warm Texas.

Luke went bowling for the first time and had a blast

Luke and Sammy, his old buddy from Provo

Luke at the Airplane museum

I think we wore Paki out!

One year older and wiser too!

2010-01-19T19:18:00.001-08:00

Luke just turned 3! I can't believe he's getting so big. It seems like he's suddenly a wise old man. He is so thoughtful about everything he does and and asks so many questions. We had a great conversation today about where we were before we were born (this started by him asking where Seth was before he was born from my tummy) and he had so many great questions. His questions always start with how. So he'll say things like, "Mommy, How Seth was with Heavenly Father and then was in your tummy?" or "How the leaves get on the ground?" or "How the clouds moving in the sky?" I guess he just wants to know how things work rather than why things are. He is a very serious child and loves to play quietly with his cars more than anything, but he also loves to run and play outside as much as possible. He is very obedient and sensitive. He is such a sweetheart and we love having him in our family. Thanks for putting up with us bud, we love you and happy birthday!

Brand new, baby Luke

1 year old

2nd Birthday

He had a 'Cars' themed family birthday party at Paki and Omi's house this year. Can we say happy?

Part 1 continued

2010-01-16T10:43:00.000-08:00

We had a really fun outing to the park with GG and Great Papa Roach. Seth loved their dog (my old dog), Shadow and they had fun swinging and feeding ducks.

Nana is a great story teller!

An attempt at doing the Nativity . . . hopefully it will go better in years to come, haha!

Since everyone was together for the first time in over 2 years we did family pictures. With so many little kids it was definitely a challenge!

All the kids in Christmas Jammies (minus baby Jonas)

Seth has decided that he loves Christmas . . . chocolate!

The boys playing with toys.

Christmas Vacation: Part 1

2010-01-13T18:48:00.000-08:00

Just a couple of days after David's last final we hit the road (air actually) for sunny Arizona to visit my family. Highlights of the trip include:

Seeing Eric for the first time since her returned from his mission!

Playing with cousins. I loved it when Jake said, "This is my cousin, this is my Luke."

Lots and lots of swinging. Luke would run up to Papa and say, "Let's swing higher and higher and faster and faster!" Papa was so good to play outside with the kids so much!

The wheelbarrow was actually the most popular 'toy'

Papa spent countless hours giving kids rides!

The Phoenix Children's Museum: Luke's favorite part was the race car track and the little 'car wash'

More to come . . .

Santa!

2010-01-13T18:38:00.000-08:00

A few days before we left for Christmas we visited a fun, "Christmas in the Park" here in CS. There were lots of lights, hot chocolate, cookies and even Santa was there! Luke was very excited but didn't want to sit on his lap, and Seth was very unsure of Old Saint Nick. This was a very fun outing for us and it's something we plan to do next year!

Welcome Home Johnson Family, Welcome Home

2010-01-13T11:43:00.000-08:00

We are home. It has been a long, eventful, relaxing and fun month. We visited my family in Arizona for 10 days and then we visited David's parents in Utah for a little over 2 weeks. Traveling so far with such young kids is certainly an adventure, but I'm glad we did it. The day we got home was a story in itself. It was a typical travel day. . . drive to airport (45 min), two flights with a plane change and flight delay, and drive home (2hours). It ended up being nearly 11 hours of travel, which is of coarse stressful with children. I was amazed by all the great people we came in contact with though. The flight attendants were so accommodating and did everything they could to make us comfortable. They even let me stand as much as I needed (holding Seth) and we sat at the very back, so they were OK with Seth walking around a little! Passengers that sat near us were so nice after the flights telling us how cute the boys were and how they remember those day. The only 'unkind' person we met was a man that chose to sit in front of us. The flight was not even close to full and there were empty seats throughout the plane, but he sat in front of us. Before the plane even started taxiing he turned around and said, "Just so you know, I don't do well with kids kicking my chair." Luke was in a car seat, so he HAD to sit by the window and we were there first! I felt like saying a few words, but chose to bite my tongue. Anyway, we got to the airport safely and were greeted by David's amazing aunt and uncle, Wendy and Giff, who kept our car for us while we were gone. We drove the two hours home and thank goodness the boys slept the entire time! We pulled into our drive-way at about 10:45pm and our garage door would not open . . . Dave went to unlock the front door and found a notice from the utility company that our utilities had been turned off! We aren't set up on automatic payment yet and because we were out of town we missed the bill by a couple of days! Because it was so late and the house was really cold we decided just to go to a hotel that night. Thankfully, the boys slept amazingly well and we were able to get our power early the next day. Lesson learned, use automatic payments!! Well, this tale has become very long, but we are glad to be home and sad to be so far from family again. Check back soon because I'm going to be posting all about our vacation. I have 4 weeks and 500 pictures to catch up on (don't worry, I won't make you look at all the pictures!).

Christmas Card

2009-12-09T19:46:00.001-08:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Our Little Man

2009-11-25T06:56:00.000-08:00

Seth is not our baby anymore. He has officially become a one year old and with that left babyhood behind (though he's been walking for a couple of months now). This year has been the most difficult one so far for our family. With 3 moves, starting grad school and adjusting to a new person in our family it sure has been an adventure. Seth is a passionate little boy and we are so grateful for him. He is daring, curious, loud, loving, sweet, full of humor and quick to laugh hysterically or scream loudly. I'm so glad he's mine and I love him dearly (but sometimes I'd be willing to trade him for one of those babies that just sits, haha :)

May the Force be With You!

2009-11-02T17:30:00.000-08:00

We all dressed up as characters from Star Wars for Halloween this year. Luke was Darth Vadar (anyone see the irony in that, haha), David was Boba Fett, I was Lea, and Seth was the cutest of all as Yoda. We enjoyed our ward trunk-or-treat and we are really enjoying Luke's candy.

How I Feel

2009-10-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

We've been pretty busy the last several weeks. With David in grad school and me tending an 18 month little girl full time, I often feel like this.

But we are really enjoying where we live. I've made several great friends and we love our ward. Usually I feel like this . . .

Fills my soul with Joy

2009-09-15T17:42:00.000-07:00

watching my boys enjoy life to the fullest fills me with happiness. They love dirt, mud, rain, making messes, etc etc and I don't really enjoy cleaning it all up, but it's worth it to me to see how happy it makes them.

A few more

2009-09-02T19:24:00.001-07:00

The master bed and bath. I'll get some of Luke's room, Seth's room (aka the hall bathroom, poor guy has slept in a bathroom most of his life), and the office/guest room soon.

"It feels like home to me"

2009-09-02T19:18:00.000-07:00

We really like our little house. It's just the right size and it's in pretty good shape. Here are some pictures I took when it was actually picked up :)

Hurricane Luke and Tropical Storm Seth

2009-08-21T09:29:00.002-07:00

This is the reason my house is always a mess. I just can't keep up with them!

We're Alive!

2009-08-21T09:29:00.001-07:00

The move went really well and we're feeling pretty settled in our new house. So far we are loving College Station and continue to feel that we made the right decision. David started orientation today, so after three weeks of no work or school we are going to miss him a lot. I'll post pictures of our new place soon . . . whenever I can get it picked up enough, haha!

Packing Up

2009-07-23T13:06:00.000-07:00

Who knew packing could be so much fun! The boys have found numerous ways to play with boxes, bubble wrap, paper, and other packing supplies. Luke is actually attempting to take a nap in a box full of stuffed animals right now . . . I don't think he'll fall asleep though. Anyways, it keeps it fun and a 'little' less stressful.

Baby Frankenstein

2009-07-15T08:41:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: Do not look at pictures if you have a weak stomach

Seth's bandage seemed huge to me. I couldn't figure out why it needed to be so big for such a little cut and I thought the doctor was just being cautious and put on extra padding. When we took the bandage off after a couple of days I just felt sick and David said his stomach started churning. The cut ended up being nearly 4" long with black stitches and it was still a little swollen and red, so it was kind of scary looking. I could hardly look at it. I don't think it would have bothered me so much if I had known what to expect, but I though it was going to be a little 1" cut. It's a good thing that David's dad was there to help clean it and put medicine on it. I just couldn't do it. It doesn't bother me now that I'm used too it, but it is a little scary looking. We're supposed to keep the cut out of the sun for a year (so it won't scar too badly), so Seth will be wearing hats pretty much all the time from now on and I think he's pretty cute in them.

Saga of 'The Mole'

2009-07-11T19:02:00.000-07:00

Seth's cute little mole was removed yesterday. I personally was a little sad because it's just become a part of his look, but for health purposes the best choice is to get it removed before he's a teenager, so we just decided to do it now. It was 'supposed' to be a quick procedure and we were 'supposed' to be in and out in about 2 hours. Everything went great until he woke up from the anesthesia. He had a hard time coming out of it and his oxygen level dipped into the 80's unless he was breathing oxygen. I think it was a combination of reasons why he was having a hard time. First of all, he has a slight respiratory infection and ear infection (which the anesthesiologist knew going in), second they gave him MORPHINE . . . I'm not really sure why he needed something so strong, and third they intibated him (gave him a breathing tube) during the procedure, so his airways were probably a little swollen. Anyways, they wouldn't let us go until he could breathe on his own at 90% for about for an hour. So, we got there at about 8:30am and finally got to leave at 11pm. We were up at Primary Children's in Salt Lake, so Dave and I couldn't just go home (thank goodness Luke was with Dave's parents!). In the meantime they took a chest x-ray (which was clear), but not without a LOT of struggle and tested for RSV and other viruses (also fine). It was a LONG, hard day, but the good thing about it is that we got to make sure he's healthy and we got to spend a lot of time with just Seth, which rarely happens. (I really don't want to see the bill!)

My Angels

2009-06-25T20:06:00.000-07:00

The house is quiet with soft music playing - Dave went to see Transformers :) My babes are sleeping. The house is a complete and utter disaster. Unfolded laundry all over the living room. Papers scattered everywhere. Breakfast, lunch and dinner dishes in the sink, on the table and counter. Bed unmade, bathroom needs to be cleaned. So many things to do before we move. More to do than I can do alone. I should be overwhelmed and usually I am . . . but tonight I am completely at peace and utterly happy. As I started to clean off the kitchen table tonight I noticed Luke's perfect little foot print. I had told him several times not to stand on the table and was a little upset that he did, but then he smiled so sweetly and got down. Motherhood is without a doubt hard, emotionally, physically, psychologically but nothing can compare to it. I can't begin to describe what it feels like to be loved so deeply, and without judgment by my angels. I am the love of my boys life at least for the moment and my heart aches for them in a way I can't explain. I want to keep them innocent, pure, sweet and everything wonderful about childhood. I found myself just smelling their clothes as I attempted to fold laundry. Everyone has a scent and I just love theirs. I pray that I can always remember the way it feels to cuddle Luke and snuggle with Seth because I know it's not going to last forever, but this love I have for them will.

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-22T13:15:00.000-07:00

I have been so blessed in my life to be surrounded by amazing men. My father, grandfathers, brothers, husband, and father-in-law are some of the best men in this world. Because of these men I have hope that my little boys will grow up to be great men also.

Dad (Papa), I love you so much and am so glad to be your daughter. You are such a good man and I gained much of my testimony because of your example. Thank you for always being supportive and encouraging me to do my best.

Dan (Paki), you are such an amazing person and we love you so much. I hope Luke and Seth can have even a fraction of your charity, patience, and work ethic. Thank you for raising such a good son and being so good to me.

David, Thank you for being such an amazing husband and father. I truly could not be the mother I am without you. You feed, clothe, change diapers (even the cloth ones), play, and work SO hard for our family. These little boys love you so much and I pray they will follow your example and be like you when they are older.

I couldn't resist getting matching ties :)

Feeling Domestic

2009-06-17T19:47:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but I'm developing a 'domestic' attitude lately. This does not mean that I enjoy cooking, or know how to sew (though I want to learn), or quilt, or keep a clean house . . . or anything truly domestic, but I'm starting to feel it more. Let myself explain myself :) I think the fact that we are going back to school and will no longer have an income has led me to start thinking a bit more creatively. I could start working, but the kind of job I could get with my degree would barely cover the cost of child care, so I'd rather stay home with my children if those are my options . . . anyways, so I've started trying to think of ways to save or spend less money and it turns out 'domestic' things are actually quite cost effective. I actually prepared a 'menu' for the week and only bought the things we needed for those specific meals and snacks. I used to do this long ago before children entered the scene but I suddenly didn't seem to have the time and stopped doing it. I decided to do it again and I'm going to keep doing it because it really does save money. I might venture to learn how to do coupon cutting, but it seems a little daunting to me (any teachers??) The biggest thing though is that I've switched to . . . drumroll please . . . cloth diapers. When my friend (you know who you are) first told me she used cloth diapers mostly because they are less expensive, I thought she was a little crazy (please don't be offended). Well, I started doing some calculating and realized that with 2 little ones in diapers we will probably spend over $1000 on diapers alone (that doesn't include wipes) this year, which will be promptly thrown out in the garbage (a whole other issue for someone else) and leaving us with that much less in our already empty pockets. I did a lot of research . . . alot because I really don't want to mess with grossness, but it turns out cloth diapers today are not what they were when our mothers and grandmothers used them. They're all in one now, and can just be washed and dried in the machines. I even use a flush-able liner that I just throw in the toilet so I don't have to mess with ringing out the diapers and yes, I'm even using cloth wipes . . . they actually work better in my opinion. Anyways, they can be a little spendy to start out, but they pay for themselves in a matter of a couple months or if you're good at sewing you can even make them yourself. Call me crazy, but I'm goin back to basics!

I think his little tush is very cute in them! (I'm using Bum Genius 3.0 by the way)

Fashion Show

2009-05-28T16:11:00.000-07:00

You gotta love a 2 year old's sense of fashion. Luke loves to wear his jammies and snow boots, just add mommy's belt and you've got a great outfit!

Photoshop = Awesome

2009-05-20T14:03:00.000-07:00

So, we did a little family photo shoot while we were in AZ and we had several different pictures that were good of different people, but not really one of everyone (typical), so I did a little mad editing and this is the final product. I'm actually really happy with it! The first picture came from the last two.

Pictures from our Vacation in AZ

2009-05-08T08:06:00.001-07:00

No you can't, you're too YOUNG!

2009-05-08T07:09:00.000-07:00

This is something I expected to tell my children when they start asking if they can drive, or date, or go to college, etc. This is NOT what I thought I would be telling my 5 month old when he started crawling!

Happy Easter

2009-04-21T13:58:00.001-07:00

We had a fun and relaxed Easter. Luke really enjoyed his first egg hunt and he was thrilled to find candy inside, of course!

Good to be Back

2009-04-16T14:51:00.000-07:00

No, I haven't actually been gone, but in a sense I haven't really 'been' here for several months. I've been feeling off and very unlike myself pretty much since Seth was born and everything was compounded by the fact that he's had reflux and hasn't been a good sleeper (often waking every hour or so). I had a really difficult time bonding with him and I just felt so angry, tense, anxious, etc. Anyways, I finally realized that it might be postpartum depression, so my mom came out for a week to help me out and I talked to my father-in-law (aka our family dr.) and things are SO much better now. My mom was able to help me do what she called a 'baby boot camp.' We got Seth on a pretty strict schedule and we taught him to fall asleep on his own. Some nights are still a little rough, but overall he is sleeping so much better. I am feeling so much more like myself and it's wonderful. I feel like the mother I used to be and little things don't drive me over the edge now like they did a few weeks ago. Seth and I have developed a much closer relationship and I love him so much! Being a mother can be very challenging in many ways, but when I look at the sweet, innocent faces of my little boys I know it's all worth it. I know Heavenly Father will bless me in my efforts and I am so thankful for these sweet little people in my life.

The Verdict is In

2009-03-24T19:10:00.000-07:00

Well, we have decided on Texas A&M. There are several factors that helped us make the decision and we really feel like it is the best choice, but we are so sad to that we will be so far away from both of our families (but we'll actually be closer to some!). This will definitely be a big adventure for us and I think it will be a good experience for our little family. I'm going to College Station tomorrow to search for housing for a few days, so I sure I hope I can find something good.

Picture Tag

2009-03-18T11:49:00.000-07:00

So I thought this was fitting due to the previous post. Go to your 6th picture folder and find the 6th picture . . .

No explanation necessary

A Child's Prayer

2009-03-17T21:11:00.001-07:00

Ok, I'm sorry if I let the title betray you, but this post is actually a little gross . . . but pretty funny. Luke has started wanting to say his own prayers and this means that he usually goes on for about 5 minutes saying thank you for everything in sight. Today he happened to be picking his nose (what can I say, he's a little boy) while he was praying and when he found 'something' he said, "Thank you for the Booger."

Changes and Fear

2009-03-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

David has now heard back from 3 of the 4 schools he applied too. He has been accepted to Texas A&M and ASU! Sadly, he was rejected from BYU (our top choice), and Syracuse is on hiatus (we haven't heard anything back from them, but we have ruled them out anyways). I am so proud of him, for all of his hard work, for his dedication and devotion to his family. I think I could go on and on about why he is such a good husband and father . . . I am just so grateful for him. With his acceptance to these two schools means we will have some big changes in our lives. While I'm excited about moving forward I am actually starting to feel very anxious and a little scared. I have become very comfortable with our life here and I really will be sad to leave. We love living so close to David's parents and Luke loves his Paki and Omi so much. We love that he can have that kind of relationship with his grandparents. I'm scared to have to start over and make new friends. Texas is really a perfect fit for David and he's been offered a scholarship so it is actually affordable. ASU is a great school, but the program doesn't fit his interests as much and tuition is about 3 times as much as A&M . . . but my family lives in Mesa and I really want to be near family. We have big decisions and honestly I'm scared, but I feel like Heavenly Father has truly guided our lives so far and I know he will continue to do so. Pray for us!

What does your life look like at 7:30 on a Saturday morning???

2009-03-08T21:48:00.000-07:00

Dave and I have asked ourselves what we used to do before we had children . . . sleep in til 10 or 11am, hang out all day doing almost nothing, go out to dinner with out making any plans before hand. We wouldn't change our lives now for anything though . . . I might change getting to sleep all night long, but other than that I wouldn't change a thing.

New Doo

2009-02-26T13:54:00.000-08:00

I guess February is the month I get a new hair style, I think this is the 3rd year in a row. Anyways, I didn't really intend to get a new style, but it's growing on me. I've gotten comments that I look like Cleopatra and Sandra Bullock in Two Weeks Notice . . . I guess that's good.

photography

2009-02-24T14:03:00.000-08:00

I got a nice new camera for my birthday, and I'm taking an online class right now. I'm having a lot of fun with it! If you want to check out my assignments and give me any feedback (all of you photography peeps . . . aka Amber, Amy, Noelene, Danielle, Audrey etc) I'd love to hear (read rather) your thoughts.

This is the site: http://johnsondc.blogspot.com/

What kind of American English do you Speak?

2009-02-16T08:26:00.000-08:00

I found this on someone else' blog. I thought it was kind of fun. Give it a try!

You Speak General American English!

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofamericanenglishdoyouspeakquiz/

70% General American English

20% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Yankee

0% Midwestern

25 Things you might not know about me . . .

2009-02-05T15:25:00.000-08:00

This tag has been all over facebook recently, so I thought I'd post it here too.

1. I almost never put the twisty ties back on the bag of bread . . . I think it drives David crazy, but it's too time consuming to take it off and put it back on every time.
2. I have a serious sweet tooth (mostly chocolate), but I eat things sparingly because I get stomach aches if I eat too much at a time.
3. I really really don't like to cook. It's not so much that I don't enjoy cooking, it's just all the preparation and time it takes. If it were just me it might be different but when I have to feed a family it's often stressful.
4. I'm am quite disorganized or at least I feel very scattered. I'm just not very good at 'everything has a place.'
5. I'm a great planner though. I used to plan and make my class schedule on the first day of registration whereas David would wait to register until the day before classes started (that drove me crazy!). I like to know what's coming and what to expect.
6. I'm also really laid back though and can handle things when plans change (usually). In fact when I plan a vacation I prefer to take care of the necessities (travel, hotels, etc) and then just take things a day at time once we're there.
7. I work well with a deadline. I'm finding it very difficult to keep up with day to day things like dishes, making the bed, etc and I've determined it's because I don't have a deadline so I've started setting a timer to do work for 15 min and then do what I want for 15 min (during nap time).
8. I hate spending money on myself. Because of this I hate shopping. I haven't bought new clothes in about a year (granted I was pregnant this year) but that's pretty typical.
9. I really want to get into photography and I'm actually going to spend money on myself (once our tax refund comes) for that. I'm very excited about it. I'm going to take an online class for it as well.
10. I actually miss school. Though it was often difficult and I hated having to be graded it felt good to learn and expand my knowledge.
11. Once my kids are grown I hope to either go back to school for a master's or have a fulfilling career. I think I actually want to do social work or something in education.
12. I really don't watch much tv. The only show I keep up with is The Office. I end up watching Law & Order, CSI and 24 because Dave always watches them.
13. Luke didn't watch any tv until he was about 18 months old (when he started getting into things and I needed a chance to take a shower). The only things he watches now are Little Einsteins and Tigger and Pooh.
14. We don't own any kind of gaming system. David just isn't into video games and I'm not, but we do enjoy playing with our family when we all get together.
*I just realized that the last 3 comments make it seem like I think media is evil, but that's not the case at all. I'm just not that into it.
15. In our 5 years of marriage, Dave and I have only been apart for a total of 4 or 5 days. He's about to leave for 3 days for a grad school interview and I'm really not looking forward to it.
16. Although I don't watch much tv, if I get the chance I love to watch almost anything on TLC . . . I really like home shows and wish I could decorate our place. I also think shows like, "I didn't know I was pregnant", etc are fun to watch.
17. My favorite foods are rice and pasta. That's a lot of carbs, so I've been trying to eat whole grains more.
18. I have great aspirations to exercise, but I don't like doing it alone. Since Dave started working so much I really haven't done any kind of exercise (plus we don't even have a double stroller yet, so it would be difficult with the kiddos).
19. I'm going to be really surprised if we ever have a daughter. I just think we're going to be a boy family. I feel like I wouldn't even know what to do with a girl!
20. I really like to read (and wish I could more often) and I'll read almost anything from fantasy to history to self help. I'm usually reading 2-3 books at a time.
21. I have only had one cavity in my life and my dentist always raves about my teeth . . . it's almost embarrassing.
22. Of all the chores to do I dislike laundry the most. I always try to space out the loads so I don't have to do it all at once, but I usually push it off until I have to do about 10 loads in one day.
23. I have never been to the east coast, but David has applied to a grad school in NY, so that would be an adventure if we ended up there.
24. I think it's really important to keep in touch with family and friends, but I admit I'm not very good at it. I just don't really like to talk on the phone, I guess I'm not very chatty.
25. The one time I had stitches was when I cut my knee on a license plate when I walked past a car . . . very random

Anyone that wants to do this tag I'd love to read about you!

Sometimes life is just rough

2009-02-01T14:09:00.001-08:00

What does your night stand say about you?

2009-01-28T13:53:00.000-08:00

So I was noticing the other day that first off all, I have too much crap on my night stand and secondly that it actually tells a lot about me. What's on my stand:

milk storage bag (came with my nursing pads, which are under my night stand)
christmas card from my Mother in Law
2 tubes of patrolium jelly
a nipple shield
nose sucker (I think the correct term is bulb syringe)
bowling coupon
cassette tape (the story of how Dave and I met)
screw driver
hair tie and clips
make-up wedge
lamp
candle
kleenex
2 pacifiers
aquaphor

inside the nightstand - scriptures and ensign

so basically . . . I'm not really sure what this says about me, but I thought it was interesting. What's on your night stand?

This is actually a bit more accurate . . .

2009-01-28T13:50:00.000-08:00

Do you ever just have those days?

2009-01-24T16:10:00.000-08:00

I should probably be embarrassed to post this picture of my kitchen . . . because it usually looks this way, but I guess I just hope I'm not alone!

We love Seth too . . . AKA little Spitz

2009-01-22T15:49:00.000-08:00

The last several posts have mostly been about Luke, but we absolutely love and adore Seth too. He's such a chunker and I could munch on his thighs, and cheeks all day long! He's a sweety with the best smiles. Sadly, he has a little reflux so he spits up a ton, but he's still as happy as can be. We love him!