The month that may as well have not existed

I had big plans for this month. Things like; wake up and shower, take my kids to the park, make meals, exercise, celebrate Valentine's day, go on a double date with friends, spend time with my sisters, go grocery shopping a few times, eat.

The month went more like: get very sick . . . stay very sick . . . husband sick . . .get a little better . . . kids get very sick . . . get a little better . . . I get very sick again. . . spend the night in the hospital . . . feel a little better . . . and hopefully March will be better!

I'm not entirely sure what I've had but the basic symptoms include: Fever, headache, worst sore throat of my life, throwing up, body aches so bad I couldn't move, extreme fatigue, coughing and more coughing.

Diagnosis have been: walking pnemonia, flu, bronchitis, pluerisy (swollen lining of the lungs) and strep throat. I've never been this sick in my life or this dependent on other people. Thank goodness for my mother! We would not have survived without her. She basically took care of the boys all day every day for weeks.

Their days included outings to the park, home depot, trips to get chocolate milk, the dollar store, visits to cousins and the list goes on.

I am more grateful now for simple things like: being able to get out of bed, getting outside to play with my kids, making and being able to eat food, being able to watch a show or read without getting a head ache.

Most of our days looked like this:

The poor boy ran a fever near 102-103 for 3 days and a low grade fever for nearly 2 weeks.

I sure hope you're better to us next year, February!

I miss Him too

A few weeks ago when I was getting Seth to bed he said something that stopped me in my tracks and caused a moment of pause. Now, a little back story . . . sometimes (many times) this child acts like a wild animal. He can destroy a room in 10 seconds all the while screaming and yelling. On this particular night he was adamant that he didn't want to go to bed, so we had been dealing with the fight of brushing teeth, changing clothes, praying, singing, etc etc. All I wanted was for that boy to be quiet and asleep and then he said, "I miss Jesus. He talked to me a long long time ago when I was in Heaven."

(Insert jaw drop and stab of motherly guilt)

I responded, "I miss Him too."

This life is hard. There are times that I feel almost homesick, longing for something that I can't quite place. And I think that's what it is; I miss Jesus. I know he's here and with me always, but how amazing it must have been (and will be) to be in His presence, to really BE with Him. I look forward to that day and in the mean time count my blessings for all that life has to teach me so I CAN be with Him again.

Out of the mouth of babes.

Big Man on Campus

How did this happen!?! I made a video of Luke from birth until now . . . while pouring over all those pictures I just can't get over how big he is, how much he's changed and just how much I love him and I am so full of gratitude. This little boy is amazing. He teaches me every day to embrace curiosity and search for answers. He asks questions from every single angle about a given suject so that he really understands by the time he's finished asking (which can be days or weeks!) He has a very tender heart and he is very in tune with us and how we are feeling. Whenever we are down (which has been too much lately!) or feeling sick he makes us things or just sits by us and gives us hugs and kisses. He is very social and loves to play with other children. He gets so excited when his cousins get to come over and play! He is quite the leader and can become very chagrined when other children don't follow all his rules, but he's learning to recognize his emotions and is starting to talk about other ways he can deal with that frustration. We love this sweet boy. I still don't know how 5 years has passed so quickly, but I'm grateful for the 5 years he's been mine!

He has a new found interest in undersea/submarines and really wanted his party to be all about that. After 3 years of birthdays based around the movie Cars, it was fun to have a change!

Gaining Independence

If you had to categorize my boys most people would probably define them as 'momma's boys.' This means they require a lot of individual/personal/constant attention. It is not uncommon to hear one of them say, 'momma!' while clinging to my legs and then raise their hands up for me to hold them . . . they are 3 and 5! I don't really know how this happened. I feel like I'm a pretty no nonsense mom, but apperantly not. I think for the past while we haven't had much of a routine or our own space for that matter. Things have been kind of crazy, and maybe they are clinging to me out of nervousness or anxiety. Either way, this momma needs a little space! It's high time these boys learn a little independence and my hope is that they will gain more confidence and be more happy over all in the end.
The first thing I've done is create easy access snacks in the pantry and fridge. I went to the dollar store and bought several easy open/clear containers and put all of their favorite snacks in them. They have loved being able to do this on their own. And, I think they are eating better than usual because I've put out healthier snacks that I don't mind them munching on throughout the day.
I also created a daily activities chart. They have a really tough time with transitions and hesitate when something gets 'sprung' on them without fair warning. I've been wanting to make a chart like this for a while (like over a year!) and finally got the motivation to do it. One day down and it's going pretty well. Luke especially has been excited about it and loved helping plan out the next day.
Here's to more independence!

Update on sleep - S is doing great now, sleeping nearly 12 hours straight . . . and L has suddenly developed a huge fear of spiders. So much that he was awake from 2-4am last night and has slept on our floor the past several nights. He is currently asleep in his own bed with a desk lamp on the floor next to him . . . hopefully tonight will be better than last night!

Preschool

L went to his first day of 'big' preschool on Thursday. In October I drove by a church that had a sign for their preschool and I decided to go in and see how it was. It seemed like a good facility, the teachers were very nice, and the price was right. They said he could start right away, but he was so anxious about it (and honestly I was too) that I didn't. For the past several months though he has really seemed like he needs something more. With the stresses in our life right now, I can't do as much as I normally would (or hope I would), and he needs his own 'thing' right now. After lots of thought and even prayer I decided to go ahead and sign him up. He was not happy about it when I first told him, but I let him pick out a new outfit and he was excited about decorating his bucket (instead of back-pack), and promised him a treat if he did well when I dropped him off. He did awesome! He seemed happy when I picked him up and has told me that his favorite part was playing on the play ground. He told me he felt kind of shy and I told him that's ok, I still get shy too. He's growing up so fast and in just a few months he'll be a big kindergartener!

Love that cheesy smile.

Sleep

Sleep is a constant issue with our family. It always seems like just when we get everyone sleeping well something happens and we have to start all over again. We recently put the boys in the same room and they were doing awesome for a while, but the past few weeks (because of staying up late for holidays and visitors) they've been waking up before 6am and then spend the rest of the day tired. And most parents know that tired kids results in more whining, crying, fighting, disobedience, etc etc. Last night I made a make-shift bed for Luke in the office and had him sleep in there. At 7:15 this morning I heard the first noises of children rousing. A whole hour and half later than I've become used too. My first thought was Hallelujah! So far the day has gone so much better than it has for a while. They are happy, content, sweet. I am grateful for this balance right now and pray it lasts!

Christmas

Our Christmas was spent at home this year. Although we live with my parents and my brother and his wife right now, they didn't get up as early as us, so we had a quiet morning with the boys. It was so fun to see their excitement with it all. They were so happy! David's parents came to visit for the week before Christmas and we had a great time just visiting with them. We have a lot to be grateful for and this Christmas was a good chance to reflect on what we do have.