Try Again

I'm not typically one to be offended. For the most part I try to see that people usually intend no harm. And this post is not about being offended, but lately I have received some - well, the same - comment about my children that has begun to weigh heavily on my mind and heart. The question: "So, are you going to try again for a girl?"

I realize that this question is asked innocently. Of course, most women want to have a daughter. But, it comes across as, "boys just aren't quite good enough, you'd be more happy with girl." To me it means, "your children aren't enough, they're missing something - being a girl."

When someone sees me with my two young boys and my barely 6 month old baby boy and then asks, "So are you going to try again?" I wonder, why can't they be happy for the 3 healthy, sweet (yes, very energized) children that I have. I can't imagine anyone asking a mother of three young children including boys and girls if they are going to try again when their baby is only 6 months old!

We never had children with the intent of getting some specific end result. We had children to have children, not because we were 'hoping' to have a girl or a boy. Asking if we will try again implies that we failed the first 3 times! I have fallen madly in love with my baby boy and asking if I will try again discounts how much I love and adore him.

Maybe, someday in the future we will have another child or children. And I would gladly welcome a daughter. But, we will never try again because we have nothing to fix.

Big brothers teaching Josh the ways of boyhood with a sword and light saber.