It's been a while. Six and a half years actually. A lot has changed since then. A lot has stayed the same. We've added another baby (this time a girl!) and changed careers and moved states. And somewhere in all this time I feel like I've lost myself. I guess five kids, work and life in general can do that to you. So, I've come here. To see if I can find myself again. I don't mean that I'm unhappy or unsatisfied with my life. I know that I have so much for which to be grateful - and I am.
I have struggled with depression for the past several years. Probably most of my adult life. But I've been pretty good at muddling through. It's hard to just muddle through anymore when I am responsible for 5 children, work 2 part time jobs and have other family and church responsibilities. So I've tried a couple of medications; Wellbutrin, Prozac and Lexipro. They all seemed to work initially . . . and then they didn't plus they had side effects.
I've resigned myself to the fact that I will probably always have some amount of depression and anxiety. And that's ok. I can do hard things. But I fee like I need to figure out the questions like; what's your hobby? What do you like to do in your free time? What are you passionate about? I honestly couldn't even tell you my favorite color, movie or food. I feel like I have existed for so long to take care of my family that I have completely forgotten who I am. I don't know how to figure this out, but I will. If there's one thing I do know about me it's that I am willing to take chances and I don't give up without a fight.
