Our Trial: Part One

Our lives have been full of blessings and ease. We come from good, loving families centered on the Gospel. I had never really felt like I had been tried or tested to the edge of my limits. We'd gone through difficult times and struggles but nothing I would define as a huge 'trial.'

This time last year, D was closing in on the end of his Master's program at TAMU. He'd started applying to a few jobs here and there knowing that finding work in the Public sector can take some time and hoping that by graduation in May he would land a job. In Feb/March I started to have several very strange feelings/promptings. I just felt like something hard was coming for our family. My initial thoughts were that someone was going to get sick or hurt and I almost drove myself crazy with paranoia. I said a lot of prayers to ease my mind and had the very distinct impression that yes, something hard was going to happen, but it was not going to involve the health of my family. I am grateful now for those impressions and the preparation it gave me for the journey upon which our family was about to embark.

At the end of March, D applied for a job with a the CS police department. He passed the testing process and out of 200 applicants was one of 8 asked to interview (they would only be hiring 6-7). He felt uneasy when he first began the application process, but I encouraged him to apply and continue anyway . . . he had a fever of 103 on the day of the test as well, which maybe was a sign. When he was asked to interview they never set a firm date and the end of April started to approach. We had one week to decide if we should extend our lease and wait around to see about the job or if we should just pack up and move in with my parents in AZ. At this point this was the only job he'd even heard back from out of nearly 50 applications, so we didn't want to be foolish to turn down our only chance. We were so conflicted and didn't know what to do. It got to the point where every time I thought about him taking the job in CS I would become sick to my stomach and feel very anxious and overwhelmed. I called my mom one night to talk with her and get some advice. We were feeling like he should turn down the job, but didn't know if it was wise to give up the only chance he'd had so far. After hanging up the phone I cried possibly the hardest I've cried in my adult life. Huge sobs of doubt, confusion, and frustration. The next day David called the recruiter and told her he wouldn't be going to interview and we proceeded with plans to move in with my parents. We felt a huge weight lifted and we felt very good about our decision, certain that there was a reason we needed to be in AZ. That was 7 months ago.

Cat in the Hat

I'm way behind on blogging, but we'll get caught up eventually! I've had this year's Halloween planned out for quite some time. When the boys run around, wrestle and play they remind me a lot of Thing 1 and Thing 2 from The Cat in the Hat, so I wanted to do a family theme based on that. It was obvious that Daddy be the Cat and since I'm the voice of reason in this family :) I got to be the fish. They boys thought is was pretty fun to have blue hair and I had them grow their hair out for about 2 months just for this!

Soap Explosion

I found a fun kid activity on Pintrest and decided to give it a try. The boys LOVED it. They spent nearly an hour and a half playing with it.

All you need is a bar of Ivory soap, toilet paper and water

Put the soap in the microwave for 1 minute

The boys thought it was fun to see it explode! Scrape off the fluffy part and put any remaining lumps back in the microwave. We used 3 bars.

Add water and pieces of toilet paper until you get the consistency and amount you want. We used about 1 1/2 gallons of water and 3/4 of a roll of toilet paper.

Play! They drove their cars and tractors in it. They pretended that there were tsunamis and hurricanes (L's a little too fascinated with those :)

I knew they were finished when S started washing the windows with it.

This activity was a little more work to clean up than I'd prefer and it's similar in consistency and texture to shaving cream, so I'm probably just do that in the future, but they had a blast!

Who Am I To Judge Another?

I had a very big a-ha moment in the middle of the night. A big one. Sometimes I just can't sleep. I usually just lay awake and let my mind wander. My sister just got back from Disneyland so that made me think of the day this summer we went to Disneyland with the boys. I relived each moment and thought about all the little details. It was wonderful . . . until I got to the one melt down of the day. And it wasn't a melt down from the boys . . . it was mine.

We got to the park the minute it opened at 8am. Even though the boys were a bit sleep deprived they were fantastic. The lines were long that day. We waited an average of 40 min - 1 hour for every ride and yet the boys never complained. They were just happy to be there. In the evening after dinner we were trying to decide what to do next and Luke had asked all day to ride on the tram that goes around the whole park. We thought it would be quick because it's not actually a ride so we got in line. We waited . . . and waited . . . and moved up slowly in line and waited. I started to ask Luke if he needed to use the bathroom and he told me over and over that he didn't need to go. As we got closer to our turn (after about 40 minutes) I asked him one final time if he needed to go and he reassured me that he didn't. Finally we were next in line. The tram was going to be there in minutes and L frantically announced that he needed to use the bathroom. Jumping up and down saying he can't wait at all . . . commence melt down.

The tram took about 20 minutes to go and come back, so we'd have to wait another 25-30 minutes if we missed it. I picked him up harshly and walked quickly with him to the nearest bathroom. The whole way scolding him for waiting so long and pouting about the wasted time in line since we would now miss the tram. I continued to pout for several more minutes and let him know it was all his fault he wouldn't be able to ride the tram which he wanted to do in the first place. (I very quickly felt so guilty that I spent the rest of the evening apologizing and that single event has soured the memory of such a great day)

Now, rewind to a few weeks before our Disneyland trip. The boys were taking swimming lessons at the high school pool. The parents would sit on the sides while the kids attended class. After 2 weeks I had spent a lot of time sitting next to the same people and found myself judging the way they treated their children. On one particular day I watched as a mother pulled her son by the hand to the bathroom and scolded him for having to leave class to use the bathroom when she had told him to go before. The boy was only 4 and I thought she was harsh and unkind in dealing with him. I remember telling my mom that this poor little boy can't control it as well as an adult and it's not fair for his mother to treat him so unkindly about something he has little control over.

Back in my room in the middle of the night these two memories came to my mind and the very distinct thought . . . Who am I to judge another?

Thank goodness for repentance and the chance to learn from our mistakes. I'm very sorry that my sweet little boy had to be a part of my learning lesson, but hopefully I'll be a better mother because of it. We're all in this thing called life together . . . so let's give each other the benefit of the doubt.

Discovering Pintrest

Serious lack of posts, no excuses, life marches on!

My sister recently introduced me to the world of pintrest and I'm loving it. Beware though, you can easily get sucked in, worse than facebook and blogging. I was on the search for order and organization and came across a project that looked like just what I needed. It didn't seem too difficult and between my mom and myself we had all the materials needed, so I decided to give it a try. The blog I found it on made it seem very easy and quick . . . it was neither, but it turned out great and I'm glad I made it!

Begin by taping two large pieces of cardboard together. We happened to have several huge boxes from the water barrels my parents just bought, but you could piece together a few smaller boxes.

Cut out pocket pieces. I found that Costco cereal boxes were perfect. I got 2 pockets from each box. Cut slits in the base. Cover the cardboard using an adhesive spray and slide pieces into the base.

This space looked very cluttered and disorganized.

Now it looks awesome and orderly!

Here's to more order and organization in my life (since I have control of little else right now)!

Trials and Tribulations

I haven't blogged much for the past several months. I just haven't felt it. Life has been . . . different lately. We're kind of in limbo land right now. We're at a time where we fully expected things to be completely different than they are and we're learning and growing and adjusting as we come to accept our reality. Our family is good, our marriage is good, our kids are good . . . but our situation is far from anything we would have picked. Yet, I'm starting to see how some of the pieces might be fitting together.

David graduated with a master's degree in May and we anticipated that he'd have the job of his dreams or at least a decent job by now. The reality is that he's applied to over 100 positions, he's been rejected from about 5 and has had no response from all the others. Back in May he was one of 9 out of nearly 200 applicants asked to come to interview for a position in College Station and as much as it seemed like an awesome chance and we would have loved to stay there we felt really bad about it. It just wasn't right. Sometimes we wonder now why. Why?

We're living with my family for now and we are so, so grateful for them and for their help at this time. We can't imagine what it would be like to have to face something like this without the support of family.

More to come on what we're learning and what blessings we've come to recognize . . .also the bedbug fiasco!

I'm grateful for this:

Disneyland!

A few months before David graduated we mentioned to Luke that as soon as daddy got a job we'd go on a vacation to Disney land. L was so excited and had so many questions about how we'd get there, and what kinds of things you can do there. We explained to him that it could take a while because we needed to save up lots of money before we could go. So, he became quite an entrepreneur and gathered and saved as much money as he possibly could. He actually earned about $50 between doing chores, finding coins just about everywhere, and getting handouts because he's cute from grandparents. We had been planning to go to David's sister's wedding up at Lake Tahoe, CA and to get there we'd have to drive through San Bernardino (about 45 min from Anaheim). David's parents asked if we were planning to go to Disneyland since it would be so close and we told them we'd love too, but since David doesn't have a job yet we didn't feel like we could justify spending the money for it. They called us back a little while later and told us that they would like to pay for 1 day at Disney land . . . we were shocked and while part of us felt like it was just too much to accept, we just couldn't say no!

Since we would only be there for one day we planned and mapped out our day very precisely. We decided beforehand everything we wanted to ride and do and charted a little course to follow. The day was perfect! We got there at 8am right when the gates opened and the boys were able to meet several of their favorite characters right away (Donald is their favorite). We went on several rides the first hour and then the lines got fairly long, but at the end of the day we had done everything we had planned and a couple of things twice. We stayed for the fireworks at night and left the park at 10:30pm. If we could only be there for one day we wanted to make the most of it! The boys were amazing and had the time of their lives! If you ask them their favorite things they'll say, 'meeting Donald, the Dumbo ride, Autopia, and eating popcorn.'

We can't wait to save up and go for a week!

Swimming Lessons

A little over 2 weeks ago the boys liked to swim, but were very timid in the water. Luke especially was very scared to put his head under the water . . . to the point that he told me he never wanted to be baptized and washing his hair at bath time has always been a chore. So, when they were getting ready to start swim lessons we promised them each a new toy car if they did what the teacher asked and had a good attitude. They both did amazingly! Luke is just about an independent swimmer and completely comfortable putting his head under the water. Seth thinks he can swim (which is a little scary) and loves to jump off the side of the pool. He kicks his arms and legs really well too! We're so proud of these boys.

Seth does not like having to put on 'sum-scweam'

Cars 2

David and the boys waited anxiously for over a year for Cars 2 to come out. They would watch previews on the computer and were so excited! When the day finally came we had a fun time going to the big movie theater. Both boys were so into it and had no problem sitting still and watching. I personally prefer the first movie and wish the second one didn't have so many guns/fighting, but they loved it. They are now anxiously waiting for Planes to come out in 2013!

Saying goodbye

We sure miss TX and all our friends there (though we love being with family here). Saying goodbye was not easy! I never actually cried but that's because I made the departures as quick as possible . . . scratch that, I never cried in front of anyone, but I had a good hard cry by myself. We will always have fond memories of CS!

I'm sad all these pictures are all so low quality, but oh well!

The six amigos! We will miss all these guys so much!

Love all these girls like sisters!

I am so grateful for internet and that it is so easy to keep in touch!
Goodbye CS, and hello to new adventures!

On Why I 'Stay Home'

There's a lot of arguing out there about 'which' life is harder and who has the better side of the deal. I don't know which is better, harder, best for the family, etc etc, and that's not what this post is about. I know that everyone's life and family is different. Everyone has different needs and abilities and I don't judge any one for how they do things with their family. This is about how I came to choose to stay home with my children.

For as long as I can remember I always just assumed that I would stay home with my children because that's what my mom did and that's what her mom did. Then I got married young, and one month after I graduated from college our son, Luke was born. Suddenly we were down one income (albeit a part time/student income) and my life went from busy with school, work, and adult interaction to the life of a stay at home mom. Which is busy, so much work, and rewarding, but different. I missed interacting with friends and co-workers and I no longer had the constant affirmations that all my hard work was being noticed.

Anyway, when Luke was about 4 months old I started to feel like I really should provide some financial support for our family because it didn't seem fair to me that it had to be entirely up to David, who was a full time student at the time. I started looking around for work and applied to a child care center as a lead teacher. I was hoping that Luke could be in the same class with me and when they told me he couldn't I just wasn't ready to be away from him. I decided I'd give it a little time and started working on odd projects at home like refinishing furniture to make a little extra income.

Several months later after David graduated and was unable to find work I felt like maybe I should look for work again and went out for some interviews. I was offered a lead preschool teaching position with benefits. I felt uncertain and afraid but kept telling myself it was just nervousness because it had been a while since I'd worked. I went for the 'orientation day' and the co workers were great and the manager was very nice, but I continued to feel uneasy and unsettled. Of course it was hard for me to be away from Luke for an entire day, but it was more than that. That night I prayed and prayed and just felt like I should call and turn down the job. I immediately felt ease and peace. The very next week David got a full time job with a very stable company. He didn't earn enough at the job for us to have many 'luxury's' but it was enough to keep us fed, clothed, and housed.

I didn't think about working again until David quit his job to go to grad school. We moved half way across the country with no actual income (besides scholarships and student loans) and I just felt like I really needed to step up and become the 'bread-winner.' I started putting out ads to do childcare in our home, but didn't get any response. Once again I applied for, interviewed and was offered a full time position as a preschool teacher. The boys would be able to come but would be in different classes. I felt like it would be a great opportunity because I could provide income and child-care at the same place. But once again I felt very uncertain and uneasy. I again prayed earnestly about what to do. In my prayer I said very specifically, "I need to decide within 5 minutes if I am going to take this job. If I am supposed to be home with my boys I need an immediate answer." The moment I ended my prayer the phone rang and it was someone calling about my in-home child care ad. The moment I hung up the phone it rang again, and again it was someone calling about my child care ad. I hadn't received a single inquiry in nearly 3 weeks. That was my answer. I soon began tending a little girl in our home and that was blessing though I could only do it for a few months. (Turns out that 3 children under the age of 3 is not easy!). But, I knew that I needed to be home with our boys even if that meant living off savings and student loans, cutting coupons, and tightening our belt.

I don't know what the next few weeks, months and years will bring and there is a possibility that I may find that I need to work or work from home, but for now I know my role and I have no regrets.

Big Changes

Our little family is going through some big changes over then next several weeks and months. David has graduated and with that comes moving and looking for work. Times are tough right now and we are learning that first hand, but we have faith that things will work out. We know we've done all the things we have felt to be right, we've worked hard and done our best and now it's time to put things into the Lord's hands. I'm so proud of David and his accomplishments with school and that he was still able to be an attentive and devoted husband and father. For now, we will be moving in with my parents and will enjoy being 'so close' to family.

Vet School Open House

The Texas A&M Vet school holds a free Open House each year with various displays, lots of animals, shows, and a petting zoo. Seth was fearless with all the animals and wanted to hold everything. There was a fistulated cow . . . the pictures will explain and look it up if you're curious . . . I was completely grossed out but Dave and the boys were brave. Anyway, it was fun day!