Who Am I To Judge Another?

I had a very big a-ha moment in the middle of the night. A big one. Sometimes I just can't sleep. I usually just lay awake and let my mind wander. My sister just got back from Disneyland so that made me think of the day this summer we went to Disneyland with the boys. I relived each moment and thought about all the little details. It was wonderful . . . until I got to the one melt down of the day. And it wasn't a melt down from the boys . . . it was mine.

We got to the park the minute it opened at 8am. Even though the boys were a bit sleep deprived they were fantastic. The lines were long that day. We waited an average of 40 min - 1 hour for every ride and yet the boys never complained. They were just happy to be there. In the evening after dinner we were trying to decide what to do next and Luke had asked all day to ride on the tram that goes around the whole park. We thought it would be quick because it's not actually a ride so we got in line. We waited . . . and waited . . . and moved up slowly in line and waited. I started to ask Luke if he needed to use the bathroom and he told me over and over that he didn't need to go. As we got closer to our turn (after about 40 minutes) I asked him one final time if he needed to go and he reassured me that he didn't. Finally we were next in line. The tram was going to be there in minutes and L frantically announced that he needed to use the bathroom. Jumping up and down saying he can't wait at all . . . commence melt down.

The tram took about 20 minutes to go and come back, so we'd have to wait another 25-30 minutes if we missed it. I picked him up harshly and walked quickly with him to the nearest bathroom. The whole way scolding him for waiting so long and pouting about the wasted time in line since we would now miss the tram. I continued to pout for several more minutes and let him know it was all his fault he wouldn't be able to ride the tram which he wanted to do in the first place. (I very quickly felt so guilty that I spent the rest of the evening apologizing and that single event has soured the memory of such a great day)

Now, rewind to a few weeks before our Disneyland trip. The boys were taking swimming lessons at the high school pool. The parents would sit on the sides while the kids attended class. After 2 weeks I had spent a lot of time sitting next to the same people and found myself judging the way they treated their children. On one particular day I watched as a mother pulled her son by the hand to the bathroom and scolded him for having to leave class to use the bathroom when she had told him to go before. The boy was only 4 and I thought she was harsh and unkind in dealing with him. I remember telling my mom that this poor little boy can't control it as well as an adult and it's not fair for his mother to treat him so unkindly about something he has little control over.

Back in my room in the middle of the night these two memories came to my mind and the very distinct thought . . . Who am I to judge another?

Thank goodness for repentance and the chance to learn from our mistakes. I'm very sorry that my sweet little boy had to be a part of my learning lesson, but hopefully I'll be a better mother because of it. We're all in this thing called life together . . . so let's give each other the benefit of the doubt.