Moments

I spend several days alone with the boys lately while David interns 2 hours away. I am not at all complaining, because really it's not too bad and he has a few days off each week as well. But, my point is that all this time with little adult interaction leads to a lot of thinking. As I sweep the kitchen floor for the 3rd time in one day (Seth is possibly the messiest eater to have lived), and gaze upon the 3 baskets of laundry just longing to be folded and the 4 loads waiting patiently in the hallway to be washed, and clean the bathroom because the boys created a hurricane in the sink, and wash the dishes and wash some more dishes and pick up toys (I think you get it) all while little arms clench to my legs, I wonder what's the point? Some days I get so frazzled and burdened down. It's like all the things I have to do are this huge mountain and every time I take a step forward I get dragged backwards 2 steps. My children are literally pint sized tornadoes that do level 10 damage. There are bills to pay, education to gain, callings to fulfill, errands to run. And I start to wonder, what is the point of doing this day after day after day? But then, there are moments. The double high fives for using the potty, the death grip hugs and slobbery kisses, being asked to sing, 'the Spirit of God' loud like they did in church, being the source of comfort, watching two small brothers give each other hugs, asking the older brother if he loves the younger and hearing 'ya, I really do' in reply, finding comfort and acceptance in the arms of my husband, sharing burdens with sisters and friends. And for a brief moment I feel like I can see eternity. It's not only that I can see it, but I can feel it. Like it's a part of me, of something I was and can be again. And the more I focus on those moments, the more frequently they occur and I feel like it's all starting to make sense. These moments occur in the essence of love. What if it really is all as simple as love? God loved us so he sent His Son, Love one Another, Charity (the pure love of Christ) never faileth. So who cares if my house is a disaster sometimes? Am I really alone there? The point of living my life day after day after day is to prove to my Heavenly Father that I can do it. That I can love the way that He does and that I can become like Him. And I don't believe that's a spiteful kind of proving. I think it's humble, borne from hard work, tears, suffering, unselfishness and so on. Obviously, some days are better than others, but I think that's why we've been given so many. Because some days are great and some moments show us our true potential.